Lauren Dorning, 24, from St Helens, Merseyside, spent £10,000 on ketamine in a single month during a four-year addiction that left her bladder able to hold just 100ml and unable to remember her dreams. She first experimented with the drug as a teenager before her recreational use escalated into heavy daily use in her late teens.
Lauren said the drug initially made her feel as though her mind had finally gone quiet, helping her cope with difficult emotions and mental health struggles. But it eventually consumed every part of her life.
Addiction spiral
“I realised it had become an addiction when I couldn’t stop taking it after work every single night,” said Lauren. “I was even working as a qualified lifeguard at the time, then going to work in a pub as a second job at night and sniffing it every night and drinking alcohol. I then managed to leave both jobs and spiralled even more, as I would even use it in the morning.”
“I couldn’t function without it. My behaviour was destructive – I didn’t care about anything or anybody but myself. My family meant nothing, my friends meant nothing and eventually I just isolated myself, only seeing my dealer and the local shop. I would go to any lengths to get ketamine.”
At her lowest point, Lauren spent £10,000 on ketamine and partying in a single month after receiving a lump sum.
Recovery and physical damage
“I was in a continuous cycle causing harm to myself and to many others around me, all for money and drugs. My emotions completely shut off and I didn’t care about anything. I was suicidal, but my impulsive mind wouldn’t try to kill myself; it would put me in situations where I could have been killed or robbed,” she said.
Lauren began her recovery in October 2025 with WELL Communities in Morecambe and says the support has transformed her life. “I didn’t want to [start recovery] at all – I was in denial. I realised ketamine numbed my emotions and any feelings I had. It really helped with my mental health and it made my head quiet instead of 100mph. It was triggered by everyone else using it – everyone thought it was harmless and couldn’t overdose on it like cocaine, but we all know you can. My rock bottom came at the end of 2024 when I lost two close friends to suicide, broke up with my ex-girlfriend of six years and lost our puppy, Nala.”
“Recovery isn’t easy – it’s very challenging and figuring out who I actually am when I’ve never known the real me is a challenge in itself. But it’s much easier than being in active addiction. My family was my biggest supporter and they prompted me to start recovery.”
Ongoing health issues
Although she is now around 10 months into her recovery, Lauren says she continues to live with the physical consequences of her years of ketamine use. Her bladder can now hold only around 100ml, meaning she needs to urinate extremely frequently.
“It’s so annoying. I have to drink less if I know I’m travelling somewhere. If I hold my wee, it starts to hurt, so I need to make sure there’s always a toilet wherever I go. My bladder issues started after abusing ketamine for a year and just got progressively worse. I would wee more frequently and then got pains after two years but still carried on using for two years after that. Now I am 10 months off ketamine, and have been in rehab, and it still isn’t any better. I have to go the toilet so frequently.”
“I take medication called solifenacin to stop my overactive bladder. There are surgeries people can have, like bladder reconstruction and a bladder expansion, but the wait time is so long and privately it’s so expensive it’s probably dangerous too. I’m very lucky to not need any operations. Also, I can no longer remember my visual dreams and this may be due to ketamine abuse also. But I’m much better than I was 10 months ago – I’m causing no more harm to my family or to myself. I can actually enjoy the little things in life and I don’t want anything from anyone other than their time of day and a normal conversation. I care and have empathy and compassion.”
Warning to others
Lauren says one of the biggest misconceptions about ketamine is that it is a harmless party drug. “My message to people reading would be to avoid ketamine. It isn’t a party drug, it isn’t a social drug, it’s a killer and it starts by raising your tolerance levels and then you need more to feel the same hit then. By the time you know it you’re hooked and wanting more and more. Your body will deteriorate faster on ketamine than any other known drug. It isn’t cool to be taking ketamine with your friends or on your own. It will kill you, or you will end up with a wee bag and end up wetting yourself, even weeing out blood in some people's circumstances. It’s not a joke. What it does to the body is so damaging as it doesn’t break down in your bladder; it scars it, leaving irreparable damage.”
When life is difficult, Samaritans are available day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123 or visit samaritans.org.
