Gary Paramanathan, a migrant who moved to Sydney as a child, writes about his ongoing struggle with depression, particularly during the summer months. He describes feeling out of sync with the city's vibrant summer atmosphere, which exacerbates his loneliness and sense of displacement.
Paramanathan relates to an article by Jonathan Seidler on summer depression, noting that the season's non-urgency makes him feel pressured to stay productive to avoid confronting the emptiness he feels. Despite growing up in tropical Sri Lanka, he finds Sydney's summer isolating rather than enjoyable.
He contrasts his current state with his childhood in Bambalapitiya, a Colombo suburb where he never experienced depression. As a child asylum seeker, he was uprooted from his home and transplanted into a new environment, a process he compares to a tree struggling to establish roots in unfamiliar soil.
Paramanathan highlights the difficulty of integrating into Sydney's dense, predominantly white suburbs like Potts Point, where he feels emotionally disconnected despite the physical proximity of others. He notes that his parents, who endured greater trauma, never sought counselling, but he acknowledges his own need to address his mental health.
He concludes by reflecting on the unique challenges faced by displaced child migrants, whose openness to change can leave them vulnerable to depression. The lack of acceptance from his new environment, he argues, has hindered his ability to form strong roots and find belonging.
