Parenting expert Jo Frost, best known as Supernanny, has shared advice for parents navigating difficult conversations about money amid the cost-of-living crisis. Rather than bluntly telling children “we can’t afford that,” she suggests a different approach that helps kids understand choices without feeling burdened.
Language Matters in Money Conversations
Issuing advice to her 1.1 million followers on Instagram, the 56-year-old parenting expert explained: "Stop telling your children we can't afford it, because that's not always the truth, is it? I work with families all the time, and language inside the home matters more than you think, especially around money.
"When you keep saying we can't afford it, what your child hears is we don't have money, we don't have enough, it's scarce, things are out of reach, and that shapes how they see the world long before they ever earn their own money. But some of the time, it's not that you can't afford it, it's that you're choosing to spend your money on something else. That's a very different lesson."
Alternative Phrases to Use
Jo recommended phrasing like "that's not a priority for our family right now" or "we're choosing to spend our money on something more important at the moment." She believes this wording helps to "teach decision making."
She added: "You're not shutting your child down when you choose to speak like this, but you're teaching them how to think. You're showing them that money is something we manage, something we choose with intention, not something that controls us and sometimes you can even add, maybe in a few weeks we'll plan for it. That teaches patience and teaches delayed gratification and it teaches value."
Long-Term Impact on Children
Having these conversations can help children as they transition into adult life. Jo added: "One day, your children will grow up and earn their own money and the question is will they feel restricted by it or responsible for it. The language you use now becomes the mindset they carry later."
The post garnered 54,700 likes and sparked discussion among parents. One commenter praised Jo, writing: "Spot on! I have so much financial anxiety from my childhood. The reality was that we didn't have money, but perhaps I didn't need to hear it all the time." Another said: "Your advice is so helpful Jo. So 'on the money' - excuse the poor pun but you really are such an inspiration." A third said: "This really is an eye-opener. Thank you."
Divergent Views from Parents
However, others disagreed. Some said you shouldn't speak about money with your children at all, while others believe kids don't need a full explanation. One mum commented: "Dr. Phil says, 'Do not involve children in adult issues and do not burden them with situations they cannot control'. My husband and I follow this principle with our children. We don’t involve them in adult matters such as our marriage, family disputes and MONEY!"
A second said: "I disagree. They need to be aware of any financial cost... Kids and parents these days are too soft for what madness we have in the world." Another shared: "I just tell her we cannot buy it, we are not going to buy it, she has many toys already, we cannot buy everything we like we have to choose. I acknowledge her feelings, but I say it is just not possible. No more explanations. If she cries, I don't argue. Just let her cry and she will get over it."
It seems that parents approach this subject in very different ways, with Jo's advice resonating with many while others maintain their own strategies.
