A couple in South Africa has advertised for a third person to join their marriage, with a list of criteria for prospective new brides. Gerrit Coetzee, a 58-year-old lawyer and businessman, has been married to his wife Andrea, 43, for 25 years, but is now seeking a second wife because he wants children.
The couple lives in the Free State of South Africa, where polygamy is legal under specific rules. They did not have children because Gerrit originally did not want them, but he now wants an “heir” to inherit his wealth one day.
Newspaper advert lists criteria
To find a second wife, Gerrit placed a newspaper advert listing criteria such as the woman ideally being a non-smoker, a virgin, “having values cemented in faith”, and “respecting that the man is the head of the household”. He is looking for someone aged 16-25, which he defends by insisting he would need time to get to know the other party before having children.
Gerrit said: “People don't read with understanding and they fixate on the 16-year thing. This isn't something that's going to happen overnight. You must meet the person and get to know them. You must meet their family too. A lot of time might pass before I enter into marriage.”
Reasoning behind the search
Gerrit added: “For every seven years you don't have children, a generation dies out. I'm sitting in a situation of 'who is going to inherit my things?' If I don't have children, my assets will go to the state according to our inheritance law.” He wants the prospective bride’s parents to “prove to me their daughters are still virgins at 16” because “it’s a Biblical prescription that the woman must be a virgin when she enters marriage”.
Gerrit has ruled out IVF or surrogacy. The newspaper advert read: “Farmer, businessman and advocate seeks young marriage partner according to Bible principles. A substantial financial package, which includes a R100,000 bride price for the parents and R5 million estate provision for the bride (16-25), is provided for security.”
Reactions and next steps
“A formal family introduction meeting with the head wife of the house is part of the process. All friendly and sincere applications or enquiries for further details are welcome,” the advert continued. Andrea said: “Some of the reaction we’ve got is actually laughable. People are saying we’re going to chain women up and keep them in the basement.” Gerrit added: “Some guys on social media said the parents will never see their daughters again; I’m a serial killer.”
Gerrit said he had to turn down a 74-year-old because she “didn’t meet the criteria”. The idea of polygamy was sparked two years ago, and is something Gerrit defends. He said: “All our ancestors practised it. Not all people are fertile, and polygamy is there precisely to provide an opportunity for a guy to leave a legacy.” Andrea says she wasn’t shocked when Gerrit proposed polygamy. She said: “He really wants children and I'm accommodating about that. I see this as a voyage. If it's done alongside my beloved, then so it shall be. This is a new adventure, and I'll be able to determine later what works for me and what doesn’t.”
Along with legal professionals, doctors and a minister, Andrea will sit on a panel to sift through applications and compile a shortlist. Once they’ve found their second wife, their home will be “an ordinary household”, and they hope for at least one child, and ideally both a son and a daughter. Gerrit said: “The two wives must live in one house. Each will have their own bedroom and sleeping arrangements will work on a rotating basis. The wives will be on equal footing. It's very important that the second wife is a person who can fit comfortably into our lifestyle.”
