Summer brings a loosening of social norms, from eating with fingers to near-nakedness and 6am airport pints. To navigate the hot, sticky social chaos, etiquette experts offer 47 essential rules covering clothing, bodily needs, social contracts, eating, drinking, and holiday behaviour.
When to Go Shirtless
Men should generally go shirtless only by the beach or pool. Zak Maoui, style director of Esquire, says walking around a seaside town shirtless can be stylishly louche, but only abroad in hot temperatures. He runs topless in London and other cities when it's super hot, though notes that going shirtless under a suit may be back in fashion, but he is not sold personally.
Towel and Swimsuit Etiquette
Jo Bryant, training director of The English Manner, says you need to be near water to be wrapped in a towel. Walking a short distance from holiday apartment or campsite to pool is acceptable in a towel, but nowhere else in public. "Don't go shopping in a towel and swimming costume."
Shorts, Shoulders, and Sandals at Work
Myka Meier, author of Modern Etiquette Made Easy, advises against shorts for business attire unless company culture is extremely casual. This includes smarter tailored shorts. "If your bosses are doing it, that's setting the company culture, then I think it's OK, but generally speaking, avoid shorts in the office." Maoui wears shorts at work but works for a men's fashion magazine; a friend in banking was laughed at when asking about wearing shorts.
Bare shoulders depend on workplace. Sara Jane Ho, host of Netflix's Mind Your Manners, says maybe at Vogue but not in finance or law. Mariah Humbert, etiquette expert, advises keeping the rest covered—wear trousers or longer skirt—to be mindful of total skin shown. Thin straps or swimwear on work video calls are not acceptable; treat virtual calls with same professionalism as in-person meetings.
Laura Akano, etiquette coach and founder of Polished Manners, says sandals are not acceptable in professional environments. If worn, choose smart ones and ensure foot grooming is essential. Maoui says if women wear sandals, men can too, as long as toes look decent, but legs should be covered—not at the beach.
Hats and Sunglasses Indoors
Grant Harrold, former butler to King Charles and etiquette trainer, says men should absolutely remove hats indoors, a tradition from when gentlemen removed hats out of respect entering someone's home. Maoui disagrees, calling it outdated; he wears a cap half the week and won't take it off inside, believing it can make a suit look less stuffy and more inviting.
Sunglasses should be raised when greeting someone. Ho says she wouldn't do this with a close friend, but for someone you don't know well, take them off to establish eye contact. At an outdoor event, you can put them back on later. Indoors, definitely take them off unless needed for sight issues. "There's nothing more obnoxious than wearing sunglasses indoors," she adds.
Flip-Flops and Garden Nudity
Ho says flip-flops are not presentable away from beach or pool, being very teenage. At a beachside clam hut, they're great. More elegant options like nicer Birkenstock-style sandals are easy and casual. Vogue declares flip-flops the shoe of summer, but desirable ones are leather or heeled versions.
Regarding garden or balcony nudity, Bryant says it's not acceptable if visible to others. "If you live in the middle of nowhere, then fine, go for it."
Peeing in the Sea and Deodorant
Harrold says no to peeing in the sea despite fish doing it, citing environment and politeness. "Go to the nearest lavatory."
Deodorant is absolutely necessary, says Humbert. "The way you care for yourself and your hygiene is a form of self-respect, but also respect for the people you work with."
If someone smells, tell them kindly. Elaine Swann, author of Elaine Swann's Book of Modern Etiquette, suggests doing it at work towards end of day so they don't feel sweaty and paranoid all day. Tell them privately and give a way out: "I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but you have an odour that is very prevalent."
Refusing a Sweaty Hug or Handshake
Swann says etiquette is about putting others at ease; giving a sweaty handshake or hug makes someone uncomfortable. It's fine to pass on this occasion. If the other person is sweaty, keep it light—suggest you're both too hot and offer a high five. Don't focus on recoiling; say it and keep conversation moving.
Sunscreen Sharing and Sunloungers
Borrow sunscreen from a stranger only if you've built a tiny relationship, says Bryant—e.g., sitting next to someone at Wimbledon and they're reapplying. Not just walking up to another group. Humbert once had a stranger ask and was happy to share.
Reminding someone to put on sunscreen depends on relationship. Bryant suggests putting some on yourself and asking "would you like some?" to hint heavily. For a stranger, leave them to it: "As harsh as it may sound, it's not really your affair."
Asking someone to rub sunscreen on your back is intimate, says Meier. Only if you know them very well.
Sunlounger reservation with a towel at dawn is contentious. Harrold would remove items discreetly and say "you can't reserve them." Meier says ask hotel staff to handle it.
Heat Complaints, Fans, and Garden Noise
Complaining about heat is boring, says Harrold. "The whole year we complain it's cold, it's wet, and as soon as we get heat, we go, 'it's too hot.'" (Complain to politicians about climate crisis instead.)
Using a fan in public is fine if it doesn't impact others, says Akano. Large paper fan maybe not in tight spaces; discreet electric fan fine even on packed bus. In theatre, fan off once production starts due to noise.
Playing music or chatting loudly in garden: 9pm is about right for near neighbours, says Bryant. Take cue from communal street. Children being noisy in garden before 8am on weekends is probably unacceptable. Mowing lawn before 9am is too early.
Bringing own speaker to park or beach: Bryant says turning up to crowded city park or busy beach with super loud speaker negatively impacts others. Quiet speaker is pointless and irritating. Ask yourself: "Is it serving its purpose, and who am I disturbing?"
Fair-Weather Sports Participants
Meier advises doing a deep dive before starting a summer sport to know rules. Harrold saw many discover tennis during Wimbledon. He advises grace towards newcomers: "Everyone's got the right to do it. They'll probably do it for five minutes, get fed up and move on."
If you see someone walking dog in heat of day, Harrold wouldn't accost a stranger—there could be a reason. But if dog is in car showing heatstroke signs, call 999. RSPCA says exercising dogs in hot weather can be deadly; report serious overheating symptoms.
Eating and Drinking Etiquette
Jane Peyton, drinks educator and founder of School of Booze, says on holiday there are no rules on drinking start time as long as you're considerate and not obnoxious. If someone gives evils, smile and raise glass. At home, pacing matters—drinking beer for breakfast may lead to peaking too early. Non-alcoholic beer is a good alternative, some with isotonic properties for heat.
For potluck gatherings, Ho says dishes should correlate with adult headcount. If you're with partner, friend, and kids, that's three dishes or two plus a bottle. To stop someone bringing a revolting dish, Ho suggests saying: "Oh, instead of bringing that dish I love, we have so many main courses. Can you bring a bottle of wine instead?"
Bringing opened hummus and half cucumber to a picnic is acceptable only if it's last-minute with friends or everyone brings packed lunch. For sharing, bring something homemade or unopened, fresh and easy to eat, with serving utensils. Put food in middle; if not eaten, take home.
Asking for ice in a non-ice drink: Peyton says customer is always right, but ice dilutes flavour and makes carbonated drinks go flat. Asking for more ice in a perfectly mixed cocktail is like throwing salt on a Michelin-star chef's dish before tasting.
Avoid eating odorous food in confined spaces like tube, train, or bus, says Akano—year-round advice, but heat exacerbates smell.
Group Holiday Costs and Chores
Bryant says everybody needs to lend a hand. Someone taking control without being overbearing is good for chores; those who cooked shouldn't need to clear. Costs can be a minefield with varied budgets. Have frank conversations at booking stage. A kitty or app to track spending is good idea. "Be cost-aware. If you're in charge of cooking dinner that night, don't go off and buy six lobsters and burn through the whole kitty."
For bedroom allocation, Bryant says good communication is key. If someone gets en suite and balcony with view, there should be a price difference. "People need to be really considerate, always erring on the side of generosity."
Telling someone else's children off rarely ends well. Bryant suggests creating diversion or talking about noise or safety. "If in doubt, you can always just say: 'Let's go and find Mummy and Daddy.'" Parents should be on same page on certain things like bedtimes and devices. Spare thought for childfree companions: "Remember: you love your children more than other people love your children."
Staying with a friend: three days optimum limit. Longer stay or more people means bigger host gift. Good guest rules: make bed, ask host what time day starts, offer help, pay for treats, send thank-you note.
Sex in guest room: Harrold says go for it but don't leave signs. "If you can hold off, then that would be advisable."
Plane and Train Etiquette
Reclining seat on plane: yes, but recline slowly so person behind sees you're coming back, says Swann, former flight attendant. Think of inches above knees as shared space with person in front.
Middle seat gets both armrests, says Humbert. "It's not up for debate."
Overhead locker space: about size of standard carry-on case. Move others' things only after asking around, says Swann.
Taking shoes off on plane: not if feet smell. Ho says carpet is disgusting; if slippers provided, you can take shoes off.
Acknowledge seat neighbour with eye contact and smile or nod, says Ho. No need to make conversation or feel they're not there.
Shared train table: space in front of you, says Akano. With four laptops, no problem if all considerate.
Holiday Behaviour Abroad
Learn a few key words like 'please' and 'thank you' before travelling, says Meier. Showing attempt is respectful.
Taking food from hotel buffet breakfast for later: Ho says not criminal but doesn't look classy unless taking a croissant discreetly. At budget chain hotel, most people wouldn't judge.
All-inclusive buffet passes: as many as self-respect and waistband allow. Humbert says be mindful not to overpile plate or take the last of something out of respect for person behind.
Getting out of an excursion: have conversations at planning stage. If you don't want to do something, own it, says Swann. Don't feign illness or urgent work call. If financial contribution made, don't ask for it back if it affects group—that's flake tax.
Holiday photos in WhatsApp group with people not there: Humbert says check in two or three times for long holiday, or send pictures at end for short holiday. Be discerning—send highlights, not endless rubbish photos of same sunset.
