James Maddison has revealed the heartache of his year on the sidelines and the long, lonely road back to fitness while watching Tottenham slide into a relegation fight.
Dark Days and Mental Struggles
'It's been some dark days, especially since the surgery,' said Maddison after returning as a late substitute against Leeds on Monday. 'It's been a really tough year for me mentally.'
He missed the Europa League final when Spurs beat Manchester United in Bilbao, the UEFA Super Cup against Paris Saint-Germain, a Champions League campaign and did not make an appearance under Thomas Frank or Igor Tudor.
'You watch from a lens of like, what would I be doing?' said Maddison. 'I'd be helping, what could I do differently? It's been a tough season, hasn't it? Really tough for the fans. Really tough for the players. Lots of manager changes.'
'It's been a season to forget really and not being able to affect it and actually help the club has been difficult.'
Support System and Personal Resilience
Maddison thanked his family, teammates and the Spurs medical team for their support through the long haul back to fitness. But the 29-year-old explained: 'Sometimes you've just got to deal with it yourself as well. The dark days are sometimes the worst days. Some of the worst days were when we've had highs as well.'
'When the team are away winning in the Champions League and you're just not part of it. That's tough as well. So many tough moments, but I'm proud of myself for how hard I've worked to get back to this position to be able to come back and play in the Premier League.'
'I'm at the end of the tunnel now so I can look back on that with fondness because I'm as mentally strong as I can be after going through it, and physically I feel really good.'
The Injury and Recovery Process
Maddison damaged knee ligaments against Bodo/Glimt in the first leg of the Europa League semi final in May last year. The injury was assessed by an external specialist, who advised him against an operation, but it had not fully healed when he suffered a more serious injury during the pre-season tour in South Korea, in July.
'I did a partial ACL tear here against Bodo/Glimt, which I was told by the specialist wouldn't need surgery and rehab,' said Maddison after making his return as a late substitute against Leeds on Monday. 'Then obviously it just didn't recover properly, and I needed the full surgery, which was what happened in South Korea.'
There was never any doubt, however, that he would be back. He simply had to be patient and go through the long recovery process.
'It was more just the sadness of what I would miss and for the longevity of it,' said Maddison. 'These days there's so much research and work that's gone into ACL injuries. It's the most researched injury there is.'
'So it's actually quite simple rehab. It's a real grind and it's long and it's hard but it's not very tricky because of the amount of research that's gone into it. I just had to do the work.'
'There's no corners cut. So, there was never any doubt about getting back. Some tough days mentally to get up to do the work when the light at the end of the tunnel was just not in sight.'
'But we're there now. I'm really grateful for the physios who have worked with me and the sports science and everyone who's made it possible for me to be back and feeling this good.'
Emotional Return to Action
Maddison returned to standing ovation at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium in the 85th minute of the 1-1 draw against Leeds on Monday. He played for longer than anticipated due to 15 minutes of added time.
'That was an amazing moment that will live with me forever,' he said, but there was no time to bask in the warmth of his reception because Spurs were desperately chasing points to survive.
'Once I was out there and the first 30 seconds had gone by, it was 'right. now I'm on the pitch, I need to try and get a winner in'. The nice moment had gone and it was almost straight down to business.'
'I'd rather be safe and come on and enjoy and build up slowly but that's not the situation we're in. When you're on the pitch you forget about everything else anyway. Once the adrenaline starts going and you get your first touch, it's just another game.'
