Valtteri Bottas has revealed the profound mental health struggles he endured while serving as Lewis Hamilton's teammate at Mercedes, including a battle with an eating disorder and feelings of depression that nearly drove him out of Formula One. In a candid piece for the Players' Tribune, the Finnish driver detailed how being cast as Hamilton's 'wingman' left him despising the sport.
Bottas described the 2018 season as particularly difficult, when he was forced to sacrifice race victories to aid Hamilton's championship bid against Sebastian Vettel. 'Do you know how badly I wanted to just say no?' he wrote. 'But I had to be a good teammate. I let him through, and of course he had an incredible season. He was the champion. I was the wingman.' He admitted the situation 'almost made me walk away from the sport'.
The 35-year-old also disclosed a two-year struggle with an eating disorder early in his F1 career. 'It was like a game to me. I'd wake up and weigh myself every morning, and when I'd see the number go down, I'd feel a deep satisfaction,' he recalled. The disorder left him waking at 4am in 'starvation mode' and feeling indifferent to danger: 'If I die, I die.' He eventually sought help from a psychologist and recovered after almost two years.
Bottas said he was 'definitely depressed and burnt out' during the 2018 winter break, planning to retire until a three-hour walk in the forest changed his mindset. He went on to win the 2019 season opener in Melbourne and secured 10 Grand Prix victories across five seasons at Mercedes. After a spell with Sauber and a year off the grid, he has returned with newcomers Cadillac for 2026.
Despite an uncompetitive car, Bottas says he is 'the happiest I've ever been' and that returning to Melbourne for the opening race was 'the most special moment of my entire career'. He added: 'Coming into work every day is a pleasure and that is so rare in this world of F1.'
