I've got a good idea for how to fix reality TV dating shows: scrap them altogether. The people on our screens in these shows aren't characters played by actors; they're real people with real lives that are being ruined, says Olivia Petter.
The Problem with Reality TV Dating Shows
Good reality TV relies on things going wrong. Nobody wants to watch a group of perfectly pleasant, amenable people getting along, exchanging insipid niceties about their commutes and the weather. This is a genre that relies on high-octane melodrama; the entire Real Housewives franchise is essentially built on the backs of women who pull butter knives on one another and throw vibrators into chicken casseroles – yes, those are real examples.
Of course, viewers acclimatise to such theatrics quickly; soon, it all becomes a bit tedious, and they start chasing the next high. The stakes need to be bigger, the drama greater. This strategy also applies to reality TV shows about dating, which have increased in extremity to the point of parody. There's Temptation Island, where couples are surrounded by attractive single people to test their loyalty. The Ultimatum, where couples are forced to either separate or get married. Sexy Beasts, where couples date blindly while wearing prosthetic beast-like makeup. Then there are those whose names tell the full, absurd story, like Naked Attraction, Virgin Island, and Dating Naked.
Married At First Sight UK Allegations
At the heart of all this sits Married At First Sight UK (MAFS UK), a show that follows single people who marry a total stranger the moment they meet. This week Channel 4 removed all episodes of the show from its platform following a BBC Panorama investigation revealing allegations that two women had been raped during filming of the show's UK version, while a third claimed she'd been the victim of non-consensual condom removal. All three men deny the allegations.
Reality TV shows about dating are nothing if not rooted in the exploitation of their contestants. People are pushed to their emotional and psychological limits for the sake of compelling telly, and even when aftercare measures are put in place to protect them, they can still fall short. Such is the nature of a genre that can only ever succeed when it puts people in increasingly insane environments. All of which is leading me to believe that reality TV shows about dating simply shouldn't exist anymore. The level of extremity required to make successful reality TV today might work in other genres – the more intense the challenges are in I'm A Celebrity, for example, the better. The stakes may seem high – a cockroach swarm! – but are actually rather low, at least when you consider the long-term emotional ramifications of being forced to eat a bug over marrying and moving in with a total stranger.
Risks to Contestants
As the Panorama documentary points out, contestants in shows like MAFS UK are often only given one place to sleep: a double bed they're expected to share. This is also the case for Too Hot To Handle, where sex is against the rules but couples still share a bed (and invariably sometimes still have sex), Love Is Blind, where people date behind screens only to see what the other person looks like if they get engaged, and Love Island, where singles are paired up from the start and encouraged to sleep in the same bed as their partner. The latter has also historically included challenges where contestants have to kiss and act out sex positions on one another.
All of this is ostensibly innocent and playful until you start to examine the myriad relationship dynamics that can unfold when you put two people together in a romantic context. What if one of those partners becomes abusive or predatory, traits that are often unpredictable regardless of any kind of vetting process? What if the relationship turns manipulative or coercive, behaviours that are insidious and can easily go unnoticed to onlookers? And what if someone does something that makes you feel unsafe, but instead of reporting it, you keep calm and carry on, because you're filming a TV show and maybe this is all just part of what you signed up for?
Exceptions and Conclusion
There are some exceptions – First Dates, for example, remains a lovely and innocent show, mostly because it only follows and films a couple for that one initial meeting – but for the most part, I don't think the risk that reality TV shows about dating pose to their contestants outweighs the reward. I'm not sure how many more scandals we need to prove that point: two former Love Island contestants have died by suicide, and a litany of former contestants on similar shows have spoken out about experiencing everything from poor mental health and financial destitution to racist abuse and vilification in the media.
Dating is one of the most vulnerable things a human being can do. And while it arguably has made for very good TV in the past, I think the latest MAFS UK allegations tell us that the genre is in desperate need of a serious rethink, one which I'd argue should result in scrapping it altogether. Because the people on our screens in these shows aren't characters played by actors; they're real people with real lives that are being ruined, and occasionally lost, for the sake of high ratings. Nothing is worth that.
