In a scathing opinion piece, Associate Editor Frances Millar asserts that King Charles and Prince Harry are equally to blame for the latest royal kerfuffle, which she describes as an embarrassing fiasco. The row erupted after Harry's planned stay at a royal residence fell through, leaving him scrambling for accommodation during his visit to London.
A Tale of Miscommunication
Millar likens the situation to a farcical booking error, where Harry apparently failed to confirm his lodging needs with the palace. The Palace, in turn, is portrayed as petty and callous for not accommodating the prince. “No one does a family kerfuffle quite like the Windsors. They are as bad as each other,” Millar writes.
The article suggests that both sides are engaged in a spin-off battle between rival communications teams, each trying to manipulate public opinion. Neither side emerges with dignity intact, according to Millar.
An Alan Bennett-esque Monologue
Millar employs a satirical monologue in the style of Alan Bennett's Talking Heads, performed by a gossipy housewife, to skewer the absurdity of the situation. The monologue imagines a petty squabble over a dog bowl and highlights the absurdity of two grown men, princes no less, engaging in such a public spat.
The piece also takes aim at Meghan Markle, referring to her as “the wife – she sells jam for a living but acts like she’s up for the Nobel Peace Prize.” Millar criticizes the couple for their dithering and lack of clear communication with the palace.
No End in Sight
Millar concludes that the feud shows no signs of abating, warning that Harry is likely plotting his revenge. “Revenge is a dish best served cold, but in this case it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet,” she quips. The article ends with a Latin pun: “Not quite an annus horribilis, more an horribilis painus in the annus.”
