Belle Burden's divorce memoir 'Strangers' has laid bare the brutal realities of high-net-worth divorces, illustrating how wealth can turn a marriage breakdown into a war zone. Burden, an heiress in her own right, was married for 20 years and sidelined her career to raise children while her husband worked in hedge funds. They owned luxurious homes in Manhattan and Martha's Vineyard, partly financed through her family's trusts.
Before marriage, Burden signed a prenuptial agreement that her lawyer warned against, allowing her husband to claim an interest in major assets and limiting what she could seek in a divorce. Initially, her husband seemed eager to leave, offering her the houses and custody of the children. However, he later changed his mind, leading to protracted legal negotiations. Burden feared losing both properties but ultimately kept them in a last-minute settlement.
Divorce coach Amy Polacko highlights that Burden's case is not unique. She recounts the story of a client, Cassandra (a pseudonym), who ended up homeless and on Medicaid after her wealthy husband used a high-powered attorney to file endless motions, including a custody battle. Cassandra lost access to her children for nearly a decade because she could not afford the legal fees.
Retired New York divorce lawyer Ronald Bavero notes that the more money involved, the more opportunity for one spouse to use their resources to bludgeon the other into submission. He has seen couples rack up $4 million in legal bills and people go bankrupt trying to keep up with fees. Statistically, it is usually the husband using wealth to strong-arm the other side, sometimes instigating custody battles to drive up costs.
Family law attorney Dori-Ellen Feltman warns that women who enjoy a luxurious lifestyle as traditional wives often do not consider the economic imbalance or possibility of divorce. 'When things are good, it’s great – but you need to plan for what might happen,' she says.
