Nigel Farage has launched a new newspaper, the Reformer, promising to take readers back to the 1950s with stories the mainstream media allegedly avoids. The paper is described as free to all patriots and those who find a copy on the floor of a bus.
Farage Introduces the Team
In an introductory message, Farage introduces himself as editor-in-chief, noting that the chances of finding an immigrant ahead of you in a supermarket checkout queue have never been higher. He promises to tell the truth about 'Broken Britain' and provide a grievance on every page. The rest of the team consists of seven or eight other people whose names he cannot remember. He pledges to sack all the people he has already forgotten if readers are not satisfied within the first 100 days.
Farming, Welfare, and Consumer Columns
As agriculture editor, Farage reports on a leaked document blaming migrants for this summer's failed harvest, dismissing climate change as a hoax. In his home affairs column, he reports on a survey of two families claiming white people prefer white neighbours, with one resident complaining about a neighbour named Zia Yusuf. As consumer affairs editor, he offers advice on spotting Nigerian scammers, suggesting a visit to the House of Commons to find the 'criminal mastermind' Kemi.
Self-Interview and Other Features
The interview of the month features Farage interviewing himself, with additional reporting by himself. He discusses his byelection victory and his plans as prime minister. Other columns include a football piece on Harry Kane's Ballon d'Or win, an agony aunt column responding to Isabel Oakeshott, and a competitions page offering calls to Tommy Robinson and Raheem Kassam. The book of the month is 'My Struggle' by Nigel Farage, and the pothole of the month involves filling a hole with 'dead immigrants' and rubber from small boats.
The Reformer also includes travel news warning of traffic jams caused by foreigners, TV listings recommending GB News, and a cryptic crossword clue about Robert Jenrick. The satirical digest highlights the exaggerated and controversial nature of the content Farage might publish.
