At 21, facing anxiety about the future, an advice columnist suggests facing problems head-on with others rather than retreating into a bubble for true relief.
The Dilemma: Anxiety and Ambition
A 21-year-old reader expresses deep anxiety about the future, worrying about job prospects, finding a respectful partner, homeownership, climate change, and global politics. Despite working hard toward dreams of becoming a writer and artist, they feel overwhelmed by AI competition and societal challenges. They ask how to balance aspirations with self-care without retreating into a bubble.
Eleanor's Perspective: Fight, Don't Retreat
Advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith rejects the common advice to "not think about it" or "focus on what you can control." She argues that retreating from problems is a brittle form of comfort, akin to using Epsom salts as resistance. Instead, she advocates for facing problems directly, as fighting can be the best way to feel better. She compares it to a massive to-do list: the relief comes from starting, not from avoiding.
Facing Real Problems
Eleanor validates the reader's worries about climate change, AI's impact on creative industries, job insecurity, and romantic respect. She emphasizes that the primary problem is not the anxiety itself but the real issues at hand. The true path to feeling better is to turn around and face these problems, not to hide from them.
Find Community and Fight Together
She urges the reader to connect with others who share these frustrations: ask why housing is unaffordable, why work is insecure, and who else is stuck in this situation. Meeting and thinking with like-minded people offers a special kind of relief. Engaging with these problems can make one feel braver, stronger, and more alive, even if material goals remain unmet.
Expanding Control Through Action
Eleanor advises to "think about it more" and "expand what you can control," citing philosopher John Dewey's idea that the cure for democracy is more democracy. The cure for struggle is more struggle. While there is a despair tax on engaging seriously, living in a bubble is not true self-care. The genuine relief comes from turning, facing, and fighting together.
