A man who claims to have been ‘self-deported’ from the United States has spoken of his anguish after being forced to leave the country where he lived for 38 years. Abel Ortiz, who was taken to the US as a two-month-old baby, said he felt ‘literally insane’ with the pain of leaving behind his business and community.
Ortiz, a former hair salon owner in Los Angeles, left the US in August 2025 after growing fearful of immigration enforcement under President Donald Trump. He described a pervasive presence of national guard troops, helicopters and ICE agents in unmarked vehicles, which made him too afraid to risk flying from LAX. Instead, he travelled overland to Tijuana, Mexico, accompanied by documentary filmmakers.
Since arriving in Mexico City, Ortiz has experienced both liberation and deep grief. While he no longer feels like an outsider and enjoys the freedom of a Mexican passport, he struggles with the loss of his former life. ‘There are days when I feel literally insane with the duality of it,’ he said. ‘Who am I? What do I want? How do I live, when I'm neither here nor there?’
Ortiz, who speaks halting Spanish, now lives in the Escandón neighbourhood of Mexico City. Despite the city's vibrant culture, he wrestles with existential questions and the guilt of leaving behind his best friend and thriving salon. ‘I've done the hardest thing I ever could,’ he added, reflecting on his decision to become one of Trump's so-called ‘self-deportees’.
