A lesbian Saudi woman who was told by her mother at age 16 that she had been 'reserved' for an arranged marriage to a 40-year-old male cousin says she 'couldn't be happier' after being granted asylum in the UK. She now wants 'queer Saudi women to know that there is hope out there.'
Escape from Forced Marriage
Al Hussain, now 31, revealed she was unable to go through with the marriage as the prospect 'absolutely terrified' her as a closeted LGBTQ+ person in Saudi Arabia. Same-sex relations are illegal there, with punishments under Sharia law that can include the death sentence, according to Human Rights Watch.
Al recalled early discussions with friends and family who stressed that being LGBTQ+ was haram (forbidden). One relative even stated they would 'kill someone' if they discovered they were gay.
Growing Up in a Strict Household
Al grew up in a strict Muslim household in Saudi Arabia. She said: 'I never felt like I was living my life. I was controlled by my family. It was always reiterated that I wouldn't be allowed to get a job or live independently.'
At around 16, Al came to terms with being a lesbian, describing it as a 'scary prospect' given the criminalisation of homosexual acts. School friends talked about boys, but she had crushes on girls and couldn't open up to anyone.
The Arranged Marriage
When her mother told her about the arrangement, Al said: 'I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew arranged marriages in my culture were common, but the reality of it absolutely terrified me. The worst part was that my supposed future husband was in his 40s and I was just 16.'
She never had contact with the man, who would check in with her family expressing how 'excited' he was to marry her. Without a fixed date, Al felt a 'looming threat' and begged her parents to let her attend university, hoping to delay the marriage.
Desperate Plan
While at university, her older sisters had their arranged marriages, and Al knew she was next. She went to her future husband's sister and said how unattractive she thought he was, which led him to call off the engagement. 'I was so relieved,' Al said, 'but I knew it was a matter of time before another one would be set up.'
Escape to the UK
Al devised an escape plan by securing a passport at 27 and taking a covert customer service job to fund a flight. In 2022, she discovered the UK had a scheme allowing travel with an electronic visa, applied, and received approval within weeks.
She recounted: 'Very early one morning, I packed a suitcase, locked my bedroom door, and booked an Uber to the airport. I tip-toed out while everyone was sleeping and caught one of the earliest flights out. As soon as I got on the plane, I breathed a sigh of relief.'
Upon arriving in London, she burst into tears and told an airport officer she needed to apply for asylum. The officer said, 'I promise you're safe,' but Al could not stop crying.
New Life in the UK
Al stayed in asylum seeker hotels and felt 'very paranoid,' barely leaving her accommodation. A turning point came when she downloaded Tinder and met her girlfriend, Eris, in August 2022. Eris taught Al to DJ, and she now performs regularly at LGBTQ+ venues.
'I couldn't be happier,' Al said. 'I can truly be myself and I have found a community that I feel safe in.' By the end of 2023, she was 'thrilled' to receive confirmation that her asylum application had been approved.
She added: 'Finally, I could start living my life. I want queer Saudi women to know that there is hope out there. The best part is, I can wear what I want, go where I want, and be whoever I want to be.'
Al receives support from Rainbow Migration, the LGBTQ+ asylum seeker charity.
