Never in its long history has the No 10 bus from Windsor to Staines received such a welcome. With a police escort and the world's media in tow, the orange single-decker trundled up Windsor's high street as onlookers strained for a glimpse of a single pensioner inside. 'It's not him,' one man muttered.
It was that kind of day: much excitement over little, a sideshow peripheral to the pageantry within the castle. 'I'm afraid nothing's going to happen, madam,' an officer told a woman filming a Facebook Live. People shouted, argued over Gaza, waved flags. A man in a Maga hat ate a pickled egg and grimaced. Drizzle drizzled.
The festival of nothing was partly by design, as the state visit avoided any contact with actual people. While Trump and King Charles inspected the guard, the crowd outside was left to its own devices. The BBC spent much of the morning broadcasting aerial shots of the castle. 'Our top story today, stone building remains upright,' one observer joked.
Step forward the superfans: a guy dressed in UK and US flags, a woman with a muzzled Alsatian in a Maga vest, a man who painted Trump as a caveman carrying King Charles. People outside Barbour had blazing rows about genocide. All found a willing audience among reporters hungry for colour.
The scene illustrated how political opinion is shaped by the loudest. Trump attracts outcasts and misfits wherever he goes, a bat signal to the disaffected. Windsor became a circus, complete with clowns.
