In this week's advice column, Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman responds to four readers' letters covering secret affairs, controlling partners, and exploitative friendships. Her guidance is direct and practical, urging readers to consider their boundaries and safety.
Secret Affair with Friend's Dad
A female reader confesses to having a secret sexual relationship with her best friend's father, whom she describes as having "Sexy Beast, Ray Winstone vibes." The friend hates her dad because he cheated on her mother, but the reader finds him "horny and funny" and says he makes her scream. The friend only stays in his good books for cash and doesn't know he has asked the reader to make a sex tape with him.
Jane asks whether making an X-rated film with anyone is a good idea, questioning if the reader truly trusts her friend's dad and how she would feel about him having something so explosive over her. She advises that while the reader can sleep with anyone she likes, choosing someone who will upset her friend is problematic. "Are you deliberately setting out to cause mischief?" Jane writes.
Dealing with a Vindictive Partner
Another reader describes a partner with a "nasty streak" that scares and confuses him. She can be nice one moment and terrifying the next, often accusing him of disrespect or mockery over minor issues. They recently moved to a new area, but she is already giving cruel nicknames to neighbours and was secretly delighted to hear one lost her job and another is ill. The couple were forced to move from their old estate after she made enemies of nearly everyone.
Jane advises that the partner is "complex and intriguing yet nasty and spiteful too," and asks the reader to consider his limits. She suggests talking to her again about concerns and whether she can behave more rationally or needs professional help. "My guess is that you're soon going to tire of her shenanigans," Jane writes, noting that moving to new towns is like "living life on the run."
Clingy Boyfriend and Freeloading Friend
A third reader says her new boyfriend is very clingy, insisting on accompanying her everywhere, even to a massage appointment where he squeezed into the treatment room, upsetting the practitioner. He later accused her of fancying the masseuse and being a lesbian. Jane warns that he is "more than merely 'clingy'; he's unreasonable and overpowering," and advises the reader to confide in family and friends and escape the relationship.
Finally, a reader is tired of an old friend who constantly asks for favours, borrows cash, and even took wine from her fridge. Jane advises saying "no" and asking the friend to repay the money owed, suggesting a payment plan if the friend is struggling financially. "All healthy relationships are about give-and-take," she writes.
