A mum says she spent years being told to “eat less and exercise more” before finally discovering she was living with a chronic illness that causes her legs to dramatically swell. Abigail Barry says doctors repeatedly blamed her weight – despite her desperately following healthy diets, exercising regularly and maintaining an active lifestyle.
The 52-year-old was finally diagnosed this year with advanced lymphoedema and lipoedema. Despite her healthy lifestyle, the condition means she gets a build-up of lymph fluid in her legs, causing them to painfully swell, and leading to weight gain and struggles to walk.
Abigail is now spending £300 a month on weight loss jabs in a desperate attempt to reclaim her life, having been left housebound by the condition.
Years of Blame and Frustration
“It was absolutely soul-destroying to be told I wasn’t trying hard enough when I was doing everything right,” said Abigail, a former motorcycle instructor from Herne Bay, Kent. “It often got me really down and depressed.”
“I’d be dog walking, going to the gym and still putting on weight. I took either my mum or ex-partner to consultations to back me up that I wasn’t overeating, but that was just ignored.”
“I then became incredibly angry at consultants as they just wouldn’t help and kept referring me to dietitians.”
The mum-of-two first noticed she was gaining weight at 18 years old, and she struggled to lose weight even when following a low-fat, high-fibre diet. She said: “I would also get bruises very, very easily, and my rings would get very tight overnight. Doctors have been telling me for years to lose weight, eat less, exercise, and it’s my fault that I’m the size I am, as I must be eating more than I should.”
“I was told to put some real effort in. I was lost for words, because at that time, I was doing Weight Watchers, at the gym five times, water aerobics, bikes, weights, walking my dog twice a day and eating a healthy diet.”
A Healthy Diet That Wasn’t Enough
“I was eating healthily: black coffee, two scrambled eggs on one slice of brown toast with a scraping of Marmite, and a banana for breakfast. Lunch was shredded chicken or turkey breast with lettuce, cucumber, and a mashed avocado inside a whole-wheat tortilla, with an apple and strawberries.”
“Dinner was usually turkey breast, a hard-boiled egg, and a low-calorie dressing over a bed of mixed greens salad and spring onion. I snack on cheese and onion rice cakes, plain popcorn, hummus and carrot sticks, air-fried broccoli, pre-portioned nuts and protein bars.”
“I don’t overeat – but not once have they told me it’s because of my illnesses that I’m obese. GPs and consultants have always told me to try harder.”
Diagnosis and Private Treatment
Abigail was finally diagnosed after she was admitted to hospital for fistula surgery and a consultant recognised the signs. Lymphoedema is a long-term condition that causes swelling in the body’s tissues. It can affect any part of the body, but usually develops in the arms or legs.
Four months ago, Abigail began paying more than £300 a month for private weight-loss injections, which she says have reduced pain and swelling. Abigail said: “Because I’m not diabetic, I have to pay, and I’m absolutely, 100% sure that I’m only fat because of my illnesses.”
“I’m disgusted that I have to pay. The money spent on jabs could be put towards compression stockings and velcro wraps, antidepressants, and counselling services. Within the first two weeks, the pain and a lot of the swelling went down in my legs.”
“During the second month, I had extreme nausea and vomiting, and my stomach felt constantly heavy and uncomfortable, like I was nine months pregnant. Then it calmed down, but in the third month, I had the nausea, vomiting and an uncomfortable stomach for about four days.”
“I’m extremely tired, irritable and grumpy, which is unlike me.”
Living with the Condition
Now housebound and unable to work, Abigail is a size 30, uses a vibration plate to help with pain and wears compression socks daily. Abigail said: “If I don’t wear my compression garments, my legs balloon in size. I’m finding it very difficult to actually compress my legs daily as it’s difficult to reach due to my obesity.”
“It’s very time-consuming. It takes a lot of time and strength to wrap my legs, then I have to keep my legs moisturised and in good condition.”
“I also have to elevate my legs daily. I do this by lying on the bed and putting both my legs above my head, resting on a wall, and I have to keep them there for 40 minutes twice a day to help drain the lymph fluid. I’ve often been caught doing this by my window cleaner – the poor fella.”
“It’s very hard to do most things due to the heaviness, pain and size of my legs. I can’t walk as my legs are so painful and heavy. I can’t stand for any period or do things that involve standing.”
“I’m unbelievably stubborn and hate using a wheelchair or scooter. When I make myself do my housework, it’s physically painful. It’s a vicious cycle.”
Raising Awareness
Abigail says strangers have thrown abuse at her for using disabled parking bays and she’s often stared at due to her size. She said: “To start with, I was incredibly embarrassed by my size and my legs, but since finding out it’s actually a medical problem, I have become very forgiving of myself with a devil-may-care attitude.”
“I wear short shorts and smile at everyone. I’ve had people shout at me to stop using disabled bays, people telling me to eat less, do more exercise and tell me I’m not healthy.”
“If anyone stares now, I just give them a massive smile, and so far they have always smiled back.” Abigail is sharing her story to raise awareness of her condition. She has begun sharing photographs and videos of her condition on her TikTok account @abigailbarry_the1andonly and says many women have since contacted her after recognising the symptoms in themselves.
Abigail added: “If you have lymphoedema, don’t give up. Early detection and treatment would be life-changing. Lymphoedema and lipoedema are highly manageable conditions if you get yourself a good specialist and treat from the outset.”
“It’s not curable, but it is liveable; you can control the swelling and pain if you get a good routine going. Don’t be embarrassed.”
