A woman has written to agony aunt Mariella Frostrup expressing distress that her sister's teenage twins, conceived via IVF with donor sperm, have not been told the truth about their origins. The aunt says she loves her nieces unconditionally but is increasingly upset that they are being lied to, especially after one twin asked if she and her sister were donor-conceived and was told no.
Frostrup, however, advises the aunt to back off, arguing that the parents are at liberty to decide what to share with their children about their conception. She questions why the aunt feels so strongly about intervening, noting that the children are not in any danger and that the brother-in-law may feel insecure about his infertility.
While Frostrup agrees that fewer secrets are better, she emphasises that simply sharing DNA does not give relatives the right to impose their views. She suggests that the aunt's determination to disclose the truth could cause trauma to the teenagers if they find out, and urges her to respect the parents' decision.
