John Ball was just 25 when his wife, Fliss, died of breast cancer in 2019. Now 33, he has shared his story of love, loss, and rebuilding his life—culminating in his engagement to a new partner, Alice, in September 2025.
A Diagnosis That Changed Everything
John and Fliss first met at school in sixth form and began dating three years later. At 20, they got engaged, a decision they knew was bold at their young age, but they were in love and sure of their relationship. However, just months after their engagement in 2013, Fliss received her devastating breast cancer diagnosis. John describes it as 'a wall suddenly coming down in front of the future they had been planning.'
The couple were determined to keep going with their future, planning the wedding around Fliss's treatments. 'Anything materialistic, like what type of flowers do you want or what kind of bunting we should have, all of a sudden became very small and insignificant,' remembers John. Despite treatment and life grinding to a halt, they were adamant about getting married.
Fliss was strong enough to leave the hospital between sessions, and although they had to push the date back slightly, the couple were married on August 16, 2014, in the village church surrounded by friends and family. 'The wedding happened in the middle of treatment, while our honeymoon was spent going into a cancer ward a week later. I never felt more like an adult at 21, but looking back, we were actually just children,' remembers John.
Cancer Returns and John Becomes a Widower
Twelve months on from her initial diagnosis, Fliss went into remission. But then a yearly check-up revealed that her cancer had returned, this time progressed to stage four secondary breast cancer. There was nothing more that could be done—all Fliss could have were life-preserving measures. 'It came like an absolute sledgehammer of news, because we'd worked towards being in the clear,' remembers John. 'We were told quite bluntly that there's only one way this ends. In some ways that was oddly liberating. We could make the most of each day.'
Two years later, in 2019, Fliss passed away. She was just 25. John was by her side at the hospice where he 'lived for a week' before she died. John describes it as being 'frozen in time.' Having graduated six months earlier and still earning a wage delivering pizzas, John couldn't bring himself to stay in the flat he and Fliss had shared, as the memories were too upsetting. Instead, he decided to move in with his parents and take time off work.
John struggled with the fact that so few people his own age understood what he was experiencing. 'Being a widow at 25, it's probably one of the most alienating experiences I can imagine. So much of my self-identity had gone,' he explains. 'I didn't know what I was doing. The life I had been planning was gone. A lot of my purpose had come from being married. I was somebody who was living at home again, with no idea what I wanted to do.'
Finding Support and Love Again
Six months after Fliss's death, John went for counselling to help him work through his grief. His counsellor recommended the charity, Widowed and Young (WAY), which offers a peer-to-peer support network for anyone aged 50 or under when their partner died. John soon found comfort in talking in their online forums with other people who could relate to how he was feeling.
Two years after he lost his wife, John made the decision to go back to university in 2021 to study environmental management. There, he began meeting new people his age—including Alice, who would help him fall in love again. At first, it was a concept that had terrified John, as he questioned why anyone would want to be with a young widower carrying so much emotional baggage. 'I thought I was unlovable,' he admits. 'I felt like a bag of broken parts… who's going to want to be with me? I still love my wife, and I didn't know how to navigate that.'
John decided to seek help from a relationship therapist one-on-one to help him navigate entering a new partnership. Through those conversations, he began to understand that loving someone new did not mean he had stopped loving Fliss. 'Your heart is big enough to love two people. There's a capacity to be in love in the present day and experience life, and then still hold that love in place,' he explains.
In September 2025, John and Alice got engaged. 'It was a big step – but knowing that I'm in a place where I can plan a wedding and want to get married again is a beautiful thing,' says John. Looking to the future, he adds, 'You need to live life, and for us, it's travelling. It's something that we're both quite passionate about.' The couple hope to see more of the world together, and after everything he has been through, living life has become particularly important to John. Even so, he still finds time to attend meetings with WAY, as they give him comfort and support.
