A 22-year-old woman who has never had sex has opened up about the reasons behind her lack of intimacy during the second season of the controversial Channel 4 series Virgin Island.
British events coordinator Joy has dedicated her life to Christianity, but while her religion is crucial to her, it has led to a discomfort around the idea of sex.
'I feel like I have this weight on my shoulders if I'm a Christian,' she told the programme. 'You have to be good, and experiencing sexual pleasure for fun, how is that good?'
However, it is not just feelings of religious shame that are holding Joy back from exploring her sexual side. She explained: 'I know I have a sexual side to me, but I have vaginismus.'
Vaginismus is a condition related to the pelvic floor and also involves a psychological fear component around the idea of insertion or entry. The condition causes the vagina to suddenly tighten up whenever penetration is attempted. Those affected have no control over it, which can be extremely distressing.
Appearing on the first episode, which airs tonight at 9pm, Joy said: 'The moment I realised I had vaginismus, it was like this whole idea of a sector of my life that could be closed up. I can't wear a tampon, I can't do a pap smear, and I definitely can't have sex. It's so hard.'
At one point, Joy believed her condition was a punishment from God: 'I thought God cursed me with vaginismus. I thought he did it to me to stop me from having sex. It's hard to undo that feeling.'
While talking with a therapist on the show, she added that the idea of sex for pleasure makes her 'anxious'. The therapist took her through some deep breathing exercises in a bid to help release her trauma.
'You deserve to have that pleasure,' the therapist said as Joy broke down in tears in an emotional scene.
Joy's appearance comes in the first episode of the second series of the show, which is set on a Mediterranean island. The series follows 12 adults as they embark on a journey of self-discovery and openness to intimacy while tucked away from the distractions of modern life.
Channel 4's new six-part series sees sexologists Dr Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman and their team guide the group of virgins on a unique course. The contributors, all aged between 22 and 30, overcome a range of emotional hurdles to take their first steps towards sex and intimacy, with approaches including group sessions and surrogate partner therapy.
It comes after co-founders of the Somatica Institute, Danielle and Celeste, branded sex on other TV shows as 'harmful and unrealistic'. The pair, who lead the programme which premieres on Channel 4 at 9pm on Monday, told the Daily Mail how they felt sex in the media can damage expectations.
When asked if she felt there was too much sex on TV, Celeste, who has a Master's degree in Human Sexuality Studies, said: 'I don't know if there's too much, but the quality of sex on television is abysmal. It's like three kisses up against the wall, pulling off the pants, sticking it in, and then it's over.'
She felt it would be more helpful if a 'more realistic' perception was put out in the media. 'I feel like if they portrayed sex as more realistic, more connected, more at a pace that is like what people actually do, then it might be a boon to have that much sex on television,' Celeste explained. 'But if it's just this cr*p sex, then I think it's not helpful at all. In fact, it's quite harmful. It creates expectations that are ridiculous.'
Virgin Island airs at 9pm this evening on Channel 4.
What is vaginismus?
Vaginismus occurs when the vagina suddenly tightens up whenever penetration is attempted. The woman has no control over it, which can be extremely distressing. It affects between 0.5 and one per cent of women.
As well as struggling to have vaginal sex, many also find it difficult to use a tampon. If they can achieve penetration, sufferers may then experience a burning or stinging sensation. However, vaginismus does not necessarily affect a woman's ability to get aroused or enjoy other forms of sexual contact.
Vaginismus often has no clear cause but can include a woman: fearing her vagina is too small; having a bad first sexual experience; believing sex is shameful or wrong; having an unpleasant medical examination; or suffering from an infection or painful condition, such as thrush. Vaginismus can sometimes occur even if a woman has enjoyed penetrative sex in the past.
If a woman suspects she may have vaginismus, she should make an appointment to see her GP. The consultation usually involves asking about her symptoms and rarely requires an internal examination. Treatment is usually therapy to help a woman understand her feelings about sex and her body. Relaxation techniques such as mindfulness can also help. Pelvic floor exercise can also help a woman gain control of her vaginal muscles. In more severe cases, vaginal trainers, which are shaped like tampons and come in different sizes, can help a woman get used to having something inserted in her vagina.
Source: NHS
