As Father's Day approaches, many families across Britain will spend around £700m on cards and gifts, yet the author of a new opinion piece argues that this commercial ritual masks a deeper problem: the difficulty many sons face in expressing affection to their fathers. The writer, who lost his own father nearly five years ago, reflects on how a cancer diagnosis was the catalyst for him to finally tell his dad he loved him.
The piece describes how outward affection between fathers and sons often stops at puberty, despite love remaining. The author recalls that while he had a loving relationship with his father, it was only when faced with death that he felt able to articulate his feelings. He says he thanked his dad for everything, but only about 12 hours before the end.
Visiting schools to speak to teenagers, the author says he is frequently told by adolescent boys that they cannot talk to their fathers about emotions, often responding "It's either mum or Miss." He argues that this silence prevents honest, emotional relationships and that the fear of embarrassment must be broken down from both sides.
Reflecting on missed opportunities, he notes he had 26 years to learn about his father's life, fears, and regrets but never asked. He now believes that as fathers age, children scramble to rekindle emotional bonds, but often it is too late. The article serves as a poignant reminder to use the time available to connect with fathers, not just on Father's Day but every day.
