Cara Robyn McKee, from Ayr, ended her life on July 15 this year, aged just 18, after a long and difficult battle with her mental health. Her sister Melissa, 25, has spoken out in support of the Daily Record’s Save Young Lives campaign and challenged the Scottish Government to do more to prevent other families enduring the agony of losing a child.
System failures and long waits
Before being admitted to inpatient psychiatric care at the height of her manic episodes after months of trying, Cara had received support through CAMHS, her GP, the adult community mental health team and various charities.
Melissa said: "She tried so hard to do everything right. She got tired of fighting. She felt like she kept asking for help and nothing was changing or happening and eventually she got tired of reaching out.
"There was a lot of waiting and many occasions where she couldn't get through. Wait for your place on the list to receive therapy and wait for your medication to kick in - that's all she was told. She had patience, but there were too many dark moments and not enough help.
"She did everything she could to help herself, but in the end there wasn't enough support from professionals."
Remembering Cara
For Melissa, the tragedy is made even harder by remembering the vibrant young woman Cara was before her struggles with mental illness became overwhelming, describing her as "the most intelligent, and hilarious person you could ever meet".
She said: "She's the type of person when she enters a room, everyone is intrigued. She was a professional yapper and had the whole room hooked on her strange stories."
Cara was also passionate about animals and insects. She had nine pet rats when she died, adored them and even taught them tricks, while working on getting them to skateboard on a tech deck.
Melissa remembers how Cara could find humour even during the darkest periods of her life. She added: "She knew how to make light of all the darkness and turn everything into a funny story."
Struggles from age 15
The teen had struggled with anorexia, anxiety and stress and had to leave school at 16. Despite being a high achiever and straight-A student, Melissa said Cara began to feel she had "reached the point of no return", believing she was "too far gone".
She said: "The time that we spent together in person, she had lost her ability to fight and seemed like a shell of herself."
The family tried desperately to support her, with Melissa even stopping university to stay home and care for her. Cara had sought mental health help from the age of 15 and was diagnosed with Bipolar type 1 a few months before her death.
Melissa said: "I really struggle with thinking about a world where Cara had received access to therapies in time before her death. If she had received it, who knows, she might still be alive today."
Campaign calls for change
The Record's Save Young Lives campaign has been launched to stem the tide of youth suicides in Scotland. The campaign is calling for every school in Scotland to provide suicide prevention education, reduced waiting times for children's mental health support, and for every adult to learn the key facts around youth suicide and where to get help.
Melissa believes those changes could help ensure young people do not suffer in silence as Cara did. "The Scottish Government must do more. Too many young people are dying by suicide. Early intervention and de-stigmatisation are key factors in preventing suicide," she said.
"There are issues in the mental health system that result in people only getting taken seriously when it's almost too late."
Melissa also backs the campaign's call for suicide prevention education in schools. This comes after one of Scotland's biggest teaching unions, NASUWT, backed calls for the training to be done in schools across the country.
"Opening the discussion about suicide at schools would help to stop it being seen as a taboo subject," Melissa said. "I wish this had been available to Cara. She felt very alone at school when she started struggling with mental illness and it would have helped her to feel less alienated and 'broken'. It might have changed the way her life ended."
She believes waiting times must also be addressed, arguing that young people need support while they wait for appointments and treatment. "Yes, for everyone," Melissa said when asked if mental health waiting times and access for young people need improved.
"I really struggle with thinking about a world where Cara had received access to therapies in time before her death. I don't know how to improve them but I am aware and suffering the consequences of the time in between appointments. If they can't be improved then there needs to be care plans in place for individuals during the time they have to wait."
The campaign's call for adults to learn how to recognise when a young person is struggling is also personal for Melissa. "Just ask. Don't beat around the bush. Be persistent. Never make assumptions," she said. "Feeling alone with the weight of your problems can be fatal. Everything's always easier with a helping hand."
For Melissa, keeping Cara's memory alive now means trying to turn unbearable grief into something that could help another family. "This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and there is nothing I can do to fix it," she said. "If I can help someone else not have to go through, then it's worth talking about openly to the world."
Mental Wellbeing Minister Maree Todd said: "I extend my deepest and heartfelt sympathies to the family and friends of Cara McKee. Every death by suicide is a tragedy, and my thoughts are with Cara’s friends and family.
"We are committed to ensuring that children and young people can access support as early as possible and receive the help that is right for them."
