Shirley Smith from Lumley has been awarded an MBE for her 21 years of suicide prevention campaigning. The honour comes 15 years after If U Care Share, the charity she co-founded, formally became a registered charity in 2011.
Smith's son Daniel O'Hare died by suicide in 2005. His siblings and cousin began selling If U Care Share wristbands, raising £50,000 for mental health charities. Smith then took up the cause, working from her spare bedroom.
From spare bedroom to national strategy
Reflecting on the charity's origins, Smith told ChronicleLive: "Losing someone like that, you are like an island without a lighthouse. But you have to get through. And when I was strong enough - and it wasn't quickly - I wanted to do this."
"Daniel died in 2005 and in 2009 I went across to Ireland saw what was going on there in a positive sense - that was what got things started for me. The kids had already begun the journey, of course. The family was a bit worried that it was going to be too much, but I think I felt I had to do it."
"This started with me in the spare bedroom with a phone that didn't ring. I didn't know what I was doing or how to do it." A donation from a local church was "just the push we needed", and support came from figures including then-local MP Kevan Jones and suicide prevention expert Prof Louis Appleby.
Lifesaving work and national policy
The charity has supported hundreds of people with suicide prevention and post-vention, which refers to help for those experiencing the loss of a loved one. If U Care Share was directly referenced in the Government's 2023 five-year suicide prevention strategy.
Smith said: "Together with other families we became a huge part of the strategy. No-one was 'on a side' - we just had in mind what needs to change in suicide prevention and postvention."
She added: "When someone is on the point of taking their own life, one thing I would ask is 'do you want to die forever or do you just want to stop feeling the pain that you feel now?'. There's a huge difference between the two. Often people feel that pain is going to go on forever, but if you can do something to change that, it can be lifesaving, and that underpins a lot of the prevention work we do."
Family legacy and future
Smith stepped back from the full-time role leading the charity two years ago, with co-founder and son Matthew taking over. She remains a trustee and is part of the Government's advisory group on suicide prevention.
Speaking about the MBE, she said it was dedicated to Daniel's memory: "When I go to the palace I will not be accepting the award for me. I'll be accepting it for my family, for Daniel, for his friends and for everyone who has ever helped our team or been helped by it. If I could I would cut it into so many pieces."
