Mortuary technician Hayleigh Davis has spoken openly about the moment an infant case "broke her," forcing her to take more than a week off work and bringing back painful memories of her own loss. Davis, who began her career as a funeral service operator in 2016, now cares for the deceased to help families say their final goodbyes.
Duties and Emotional Toll
Her work involves washing, dressing and embalming bodies, as well as repairing traumatic injuries and carrying out reconstructive work. Davis acknowledges that the role carries a heavy emotional price, with cases involving infants and babies proving especially distressing.
Speaking on the People Are Deep podcast, she said: "The first infant I had broke me, I'm not ashamed to say I had to go off sick for over a week, that really did break me and it brought up my own issues there." She added: "But do you know what, you do get used to it, but it also teaches you to appreciate life 100 per cent."
Personal Loss and Grief
The difficult period was made harder because it triggered memories of her own bereavement after losing her baby daughter. Davis explained: "[My daughter] was stillborn, I refused a post-mortem at that point. I lost my father so I think grief had a lot to do with that." She recalled: "I don't know the reason why I didn't want her to have a post-mortem. It was a case of, I went in, didn't reduce movements essentially they put a heart trace on, there wasn't a heartbeat. They scanned me and sadly she'd probably been gone a day or two they reckon."
Davis also shared what she refuses to say to those grieving, particularly parents who have lost children. "I genuinely feel their grief," she said. "I know that pain and one thing I will not do is tell them that it's going to be okay, because it's not, they're going to live a very different darker life."
Path to the Profession
It was the death of her father that led Davis to her chosen career. She explained: "I lost my father and my baby quite close together and one of the things when my father passed away was his funeral bill and there was a charge on there for care of the deceased." The unexpected charge "bugged" her for years, prompting her to apply for a job at a funeral home when she saw an opening.
Though her first application was unsuccessful, she succeeded on her second attempt. "It went from there and I was humbled really quickly," she added. For anyone affected by this story, support is available from Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charity, on 0808 164 3332 or helpline@sands.org.uk.
