A 29-year-old man is having second thoughts about proposing to his girlfriend of three years, citing her persistently negative attitude as the main obstacle. He describes her as having everything going for her—a good family, stunning looks, a fun job, and many friends—yet nothing is ever good enough.
A spoiled reaction to a hotel upgrade
He gives a recent example: while staying in a hotel for a few days, they were offered a free upgrade to a rooftop suite with a private hot tub. While most would have been thrilled, she sulked the entire time because the bathroom was too small.
He notes she is an only child, used to her parents pandering to her every whim, and sometimes she acts really spoilt, which he finds unattractive. He asks if he can change her way of seeing things.
Advice: don't propose yet
In response, the advice columnist says you can't change people—they have to do that themselves—but you can try to help her see things differently and appreciate the life she has. The columnist advises against getting engaged while feeling these things, suggesting to propose only when sure and the timing feels right.
The columnist acknowledges weddings are stressful and emotions can run high, so it's important to be on the same page. They suggest not ending the relationship but taking time, as both are still young and can share more experiences and grow together.
Communicate honestly
Sometimes people need to hear the truth, so if she's acting like a petulant child, call it out. The columnist emphasizes that an equal partnership requires honest communication. If he's having these thoughts now, a wedding certificate won't make them disappear. Confront any issues or doubts before walking down the aisle to ensure true happiness.
