Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman has responded to a reader who discovered their new partner is a sex worker, warning about potential sexual health risks and emotional challenges. She also advised another reader struggling with a partner's constant negativity.
Reader's dilemma: Partner is a sex worker
The reader explained that a best friend introduced them to the partner in March, believing they would be a good match. Initially thinking the partner was a male model, the reader later learned he works as an escort and makes X-rated films, specialising in group sex with men and women from around the world.
Despite his open attitude, the partner insists his work is separate from his feelings, claiming he is devoted and considers his profession an art form. He wants to move in together, seeking a normal life away from hotels and cameras. The reader, however, is torn, admitting they fancy him greatly and find their sex life "unbelievably hot."
Jane's advice: Prioritise health and emotions
Jane advised that being a porn star doesn't make the partner a bad person, but questioned whether he is the only man for them. She stressed the importance of safe sex, asking if he uses a condom every time, warning that one lapse could put the reader in immediate danger.
She also raised concerns about emotional well-being and future insecurity, asking if the reader could sleep soundly knowing he is with a client. Jane suggested considering whether the partner would give up the work and urged a visit to the GP before any further intimacy.
Second reader: Partner's negativity
A separate reader, in a four-year relationship, described their partner as increasingly downbeat, seeing the bad in everything and everyone. They wondered if she enjoys being the bearer of bad news and asked how to change her.
Jane advised protecting one's own mental health, questioning the relationship's quality if the partner brings them down daily. She recommended telling her directly that the negativity cannot continue, asking if she is depressed and suggesting she may need GP support.
