A 27-year-old woman has asked for advice after her boyfriend of three years ended their relationship and later appeared at a party with a new girlfriend. She still loves him and is struggling to cope with seeing him move on.
The breakup and the party
The woman explained that the split was his idea, as he felt they had gone as far as they could as a couple. She has been devastated and has never cried so much over anything. Her friends are supportive, but they are also his friends, which has made the situation tricky.
At a friend's party, she was assured her ex would not attend, but he walked in halfway through the evening with a girl from the fringes of their friendship group. They stayed away from her, but it was obvious they are dating. She left early, feeling upset by his apparent disregard for her feelings.
Advice: focus on yourself
In response, Coleen advises that getting over it will take time and that no one expects her to be okay overnight. She suggests not overthinking what has happened and focusing on herself.
Coleen recommends only attending events when she knows her ex will not be there and asking friends for help with this. It is okay to take a step back until she feels stronger. She can organise things herself that do not include him.
Dealing with the new relationship
Coleen notes that the end of a relationship brings a grief period, especially when it was not wanted. She suggests not dwelling on the new relationship, as it might be a rebound. She advises harnessing some anger and thinking that he was not good enough for her.
If he shows up unannounced again, Coleen suggests faking happiness, even for a couple of hours, so he will think she is over him. Eventually, she will not have to fake it, and she will be glad she has moved on.
