A reader is frustrated after a promising romance fizzled out without explanation. After months of crushing on a man, they finally connected on a night out, enjoyed two amazing dates, and exchanged constant texts. Now, he has gone silent for days, leaving her confused and hurt.
What Happened
The chemistry was undeniable, with deep talks and kissing on the first date. The second date was just as good, and they texted constantly afterward. But then his texts gradually slowed and stopped. She can see he is active on social media, which makes the silence even more frustrating.
She wonders if she has been dumped and doesn't want to appear desperate or needy by chasing him. She feels it's a rubbish way to treat someone after such a strong start.
Coleen's Advice
Coleen suggests this is ghosting, which is horrible and frustrating. However, there is always a chance something else is going on, like a family emergency or work issue. She advises sending one more direct message, such as, “Just checking you’re OK because I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
If the response is curt or absent, it's clear he's not as interested as he seemed. Perhaps he enjoyed the dates but isn't looking for more, and his mistake was not being honest about it. Coleen suggests giving him feedback for the future: be upfront instead of ghosting.
Managing Expectations
Coleen also points out that building someone up in your mind over months often leads to disappointment. It's impossible for anyone to match a romantic idea you've created on your own. She advises not letting this experience put you off dating, but to try managing expectations in the future to avoid feeling so let down.
