The family of a 17-year-old boy say he acted “devastatingly out of character” when he made a sudden decision to step in front of a train. Herbie Ballard died on April 22 at a pedestrian railway crossing in Whitstable during what a coroner described as a “brief and intense period of emotional crisis”.
Police and paramedics were called shortly before 10pm but Herbie could not be saved and was pronounced dead at the scene. Herbie’s family described him as a “truly remarkable young man” who was kind, generous, “full of love”, embraced life with “rare enthusiasm” - and had big dreams for his future.
Inquest hears of argument before death
An inquest into his death at Oakwood House, Maidstone, heard that, just hours earlier, Herbie had been at the Two Brewers pub in Canterbury Road, where he appeared happy as he drank pints with friends. However, coroner Sarah Clarke heard how an argument with his ex-girlfriend began just before 8pm while he was at the pub, and later continued at his family home, where she had gone to collect belongings.
Herbie’s mum Tara told the hearing he had learned some distressing information, and that “the hurt and upset was overwhelming for our son”. She added she had “never in 17 years seen that face”, adding: “I can’t describe it, but it wasn’t Herbie. He was so angry.”
As Herbie ran from the house, Tara tried to stop him from leaving. “As he was going down the stairs, I grabbed hold of him and said, ‘Don’t you dare go outside’, because I didn’t want the argument to ensue,” she said. “He just got free from me and just said, ‘I’m going to kill myself’, ran down the stairs and out. But we’d never heard him talk like that.”
Coroner records suicide conclusion
Herbie had left without his shoes, and his parents believed he would calm down and return within minutes. The inquest heard Herbie’s ex-girlfriend followed him towards the nearby railway crossing, and attempts were made to persuade him away from the line. The train driver later told British Transport Police he saw two young people near the crossing and described one as moving towards the train in a way which appeared “more deliberate than accidental”.
A post-mortem examination found Herbie died from multiple injuries. Alcohol was detected in a liver sample, although the amount could not be established, and the coroner said the evidence did not suggest Herbie had been too intoxicated to understand what he was doing. The hearing was told Herbie had never been diagnosed with a mental health condition, was not known to local mental health services and there had been no previous indication he was suicidal.
The coroner stressed her conclusion “doesn’t change the boy that he was”. “The evidence does not suggest that Herbie had any sustained or long-standing intention to take his own life,” she said. However, she found he had expressed an intention to do so during “a moment of extreme upset and distress” during which “tragically, he acted upon thoughts of ending his life”. “For all of these reasons, the appropriate conclusion remains one of suicide,” she added.
Family calls for awareness and crossing closure
Following the hearing, Tara said the family respected the coroner’s finding, but stressed it reflected Herbie’s intention in his final moments rather than evidence of a prolonged suicidal state. “Herbie was not a young man who had been living with an ongoing mental-health condition or suicidal thoughts,” she said. “He was deeply loved, supported and surrounded by a close family and lifelong friends. Nothing about what happened was consistent with the Herbie we knew. It was sudden, situational and devastatingly out of character.”
His family now want others to understand a young person can experience extreme emotional distress even without previously appearing suicidal or having a diagnosed mental health condition. Tara said relationships and break-ups could be experienced with enormous intensity, while phones, messaging apps and social media could leave little opportunity for arguments to end and emotions to settle. She said families and schools needed to talk about overwhelming emotions, relationship distress and impulsivity, as well as recognising persistent suicidal thoughts.
“However unbearable something feels in one moment, that moment can pass,” Tara said. “If something meaningful can come from the terrible loss of Herbie, we hope it is a greater understanding of that vulnerability, and more conversations with young people before an overwhelming moment becomes an irreversible one.” The family plans to petition for the closure of the Ham Shades Lane level crossing where Herbie died and is developing Herbie’s Youth Mental Health Ambassador programme alongside Revival to work with schools and youth organisations. Network Rail has been contacted for comment.
