The unpleasant work of dumping or being dumped has turned into a booming cottage industry that stands as a very clear response to our modern world, according to relationship experts. As people race between meetings and live increasingly digital lives, severing a relationship in a healing way has become the next frontier in the self-care movement.
In 2015, months after a breakup with his long-term partner, Adam (not his real name) found himself stuck. He couldn’t eat or sleep or maintain focus, and he was worried that his lethargy was affecting his professional life. He didn’t feel comfortable discussing his emotional state with friends, many of whom were shared with his ex. He called on Natalia Juarez, a 'breakup expert and dating strategist' based in Toronto. Over six months, Adam paid C$2,500 to Juarez, who encouraged him to start working out, build a new social circle, and study mindfulness. 'Eventually, she encouraged me to appreciate how I had grown from the relationship and the breakup. That’s when I knew I had healed,' says Adam.
Juarez offers a range of services, including 24-hour social media support, post-breakup home cleanses, acting as an intermediary for exchanging shared goods, and helping clients secure transitional housing. She also offers a 10-page guide to calling off a wedding, which includes tips on dealing with guilt and shame, etiquette for notifying guests, and how to get refunds on deposits. Juarez even crafts playlists based on three emotional phases of a breakup: 'weepy/teary', 'the fire', and 'empowerment and peace'.
This kind of therapy is part of a new niche carved out by entrepreneurs offering to help heal a broken heart. A Canadian 'relationship expert' recently launched Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a three-day program that moves participants through stages of mourning and detachment. Mend is a new app and online community that encourages journaling and 'detoxing from your ex'. There is even a Breakup Box filled with treats like a scented candle, vegan bath salts, Lindt chocolates, and hot pink hand towels.
For Amy Chan, the idea for Renew Breakup Bootcamp was born of a broken heart. Five years ago, she was living in Vancouver and preparing for a lifelong future with her first love until he suddenly broke things off. Chan struggled to reconceive her individual identity and was thrown into a lengthy bout of depression. In her bid to heal, she tried reiki, therapy, and a yoga retreat in Mexico. 'I looked for something specifically targeted to breakups, but there was nothing,' she says. Chan eventually saw the post-breakup period as a pivotal moment for change, and Renew was conceived as an immersive weekend retreat on a 'luxury farm' in upstate New York, including organic food, meditation, and yoga.
