Amanda Barnes, 49, a company director from Totnes, Devon, held a solo wedding ceremony after being diagnosed with incurable breast cancer, because she did not want to pass away without experiencing life as a bride. Currently unattached but having always dreamed of marriage, she chose to put on a wedding dress and mark the occasion despite the absence of a groom.
Amanda discovered a lump the size of two grapes under her left arm in October 2021 and received a stage three breast cancer diagnosis in July 2022. Her friends rallied together to find her the ideal dress, and on August 16 she had her hair and makeup done before enjoying a Sunday roast with 30 of her closest family and friends at a hotel.
No groom 'didn't matter'
Amanda said: "There may not have been a groom and that didn't matter, because there was no shortage of love. And I wore the dress of my dreams."
"My family and friends pulled together to make something I'd always dreamed about actually happen. The love I've received has been overwhelming."
"I just never found the right person, and sometimes you can't keep waiting for the perfect circumstances. Cancer has taken an enormous amount from me, but while I'm still able to make choices for myself, I don't want it to take away my ability to enjoy being alive."
"Sometimes it takes all my effort just to get through the day. Even now, I sometimes find it incredibly difficult to comprehend how somebody who was so active and looked after herself could end up with cancer affecting so many different parts of her body."
"I've never smoked, I've hardly ever drunk alcohol and I have no known BRCA gene mutation associated with hereditary breast cancer. Sometimes you can do everything you think is right and still be incredibly unlucky."
Symptoms before diagnosis
Amanda felt hot and cold and noticed swelling in her left breast prior to receiving her diagnosis. She visited her GP the following day and underwent an ultrasound at the beginning of November at the Nuffield private hospital in Plymouth. The results returned as normal, yet Amanda continued to feel unwell and fatigued, prompting her to attend another ultrasound in March 2022. Once again the results came back clear, but following a biopsy in June, Amanda received her breast cancer diagnosis a week later, in July.
She said: "It was a huge shock. I had no idea it was cancer, but I did feel like something was very wrong, because of the heat, the swelling, and the lump. All those tests coming back 'normal' made me feel like I was a hypochondriac, like I might be imagining all these things that were happening to me."
Following a PET scan at Royal Marsden Hospital in Sutton, Surrey, in October 2022, she received the devastating news that the cancer had spread to her spine, had reached stage four, and that she might not survive beyond March 2023. "I just couldn't believe it," she said. "It was awful being given a date, and that date has stuck with me, but here I am."
Fantastic day
Amanda underwent radiotherapy for the tumours on her spine, which helped to reduce their size. Despite this, she continued to pursue her passions for hill walking and travelling - going on holiday up to six times a year - and devoted as much time as possible to her children Connor, 20, and Ruby, 17. She attends PET scans every three months and in March 2026 was informed she required chemotherapy after the cancer had spread to her femurs and hips. Amanda resolved to fulfil her dream of wearing a wedding dress in July 2026 and called her friend Jenny Hardy, 37.
She discovered her perfect gown - featuring a fitted bodice and straight skirt with a long split - from Prudence Gowns in Plymouth. She dressed up and spent the day at Islington Country House hotel, near Newton Abbott, enjoying a Sunday roast and indulging in spa treatments. Amanda said: "It was absolutely fantastic. I just wanted to fulfil one of my oldest and greatest dreams while I still could."
"My friends can't take away my diagnosis, but they do give me practical support, and most importantly, love, laughter and memories. I did it. I wore the most beautiful wedding dress and had a wonderful few hours full of love." Her friend Lucy has been documenting Amanda's special day on TikTok.
Amanda said: "I'm so grateful to everyone who has shared my story. I certainly never thought millions of people would see me wearing that dress. I hope the extraordinary response to Lucy's video reminds somebody else not to keep putting life off while they're waiting for everything to be perfect."
"Take the trip. Wear the dress. Spend time with your children. Tell the people you love what they mean to you. Make the memory while you can."
"This isn't really about my cancer diagnosis or my dress. It's about love, kindness, family, friendship, and being alive."
Following five rounds of chemotherapy at Torbay Hospital and two further sessions at a private clinic in London, Amanda received the devastating news on August 26 that the cancer had spread to her brain. She has since lost the sight in her right eye as a result of the cancer spreading there too. She is pressing ahead with chemotherapy at a Harley Street clinic in London and has launched a GoFundMe page to help cover the costs of potential future treatments.
"I'm just not ready to stop," she said.
