Dawn French has admitted she is “frightened” of losing her independence as she made a confession about getting older. The Vicar of Dibley star, 68, explained that the fear of ageing and eventual death motivated her to write her novel Enough, which follows a grandmother determined to die before her family has to suffer her becoming infirm.
Fear of ageing and vulnerability
French told Good Housekeeping: “My motivation was writing about something that would frighten me. And the idea of getting older, of being vulnerable, of no longer being independent – those things are all daunting. I made [protagonist] Etta my age for a few reasons, one of which was laziness; I didn’t have to research the music and politics with which she grew up. I also thought that Etta being 68 and healthy but deciding to die by suicide is shocking.”
Inspiration from her mother
French’s own mother helped inspire the novel after being diagnosed with lung cancer. They only had a “short time” together after the diagnosis, and her mother told her where to find the will, going through “the big things and the petty things”.
French told the publication: “I started to ask her about something and she said, ‘I don’t care. I won’t be there. Do whatever you like.’ It was very generous and it gave us huge freedom.”
Personal experience with suicide
French lost her father Denys to suicide when he was 45 years old in 1977. She told The Times: “Suicide lives in my brain in a way it might not for somebody who hasn’t experienced it so closely. And as I’ve got older, I want to talk about the big things. I set out to write something I’m a bit afraid to admit: that getting older is difficult, end of life is difficult, suicide is difficult.”
Despite admitting that she has experienced thoughts of suicide, the actress insisted: “I don't think I would ever make this choice.”
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