Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman has tackled two new reader dilemmas, offering blunt advice on family freeloaders and unreliable partners.
Crash and Burn: The Freeloading Sister
A reader wrote in complaining that her sister and her boyfriend, who travel the world without a permanent base, regularly crash at her tiny flat. They arrive unannounced, never say how long they're staying, and contribute nothing towards groceries or bills. The reader gives up her bedroom and says her life becomes intolerable.
The boyfriend is described as clumsy, untidy, and prone to noisy sex. The pair have broken the washing machine and bed, and he once set fire to a duvet with a scented candle. The reader fears another visit in the autumn because her mother heard the sister is almost broke, working at a bar in Thailand while her boyfriend is unemployed.
Jane advised contacting the sister now with plenty of notice, making it clear she can't host them again because she has too much going on. She warned the sister won't like it, as she views the reader as a soft touch, but the air needs clearing. Jane stressed the sister is entitled to a nomadic life, but it's not the reader's job to facilitate it, and suggested they make other plans for the winter.
Beep Beep: The Unreliable Boyfriend
A second reader described a boyfriend who runs out at the first sign of trouble, refusing to deal with bills, DIY, or bad health. Last year, when she struggled with a broken foot, he disappeared, and her parents did everything while slagging him off. He returned as soon as she was mobile again and able to cook and clean.
Currently, he's hiding out at his mother's house because their shower is playing up, expecting her to sort it and pay the plumber. He also sleeps with other girls to punish her for nagging.
Jane questioned why the reader sticks with such an unreliable man, saying she'd be better off alone. She called his infidelity insulting and asked about her sexual health and self-respect. Jane advised seeing through him as a devious user and dumping him, noting her parents clearly have his measure.
