Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand to tackle readers' issues with straight-talking advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues, she has helped thousands of readers over the years. Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Ultimatum Backfires
A reader ordered his girlfriend to choose between him and her other lover, and she chose the other man. Now alone, he regrets his actions. They met in 2024 and fell deeply in love, but things became stressful when he took a role in an international organisation. He neglected his girlfriend and took her for granted, and she started sleeping with another man. He discovered the affair on holiday in Crete when she kept disappearing to make calls. When confronted, she admitted seeing someone she dated years ago. He blasted: “It’s him or me”, and she snapped: “Him” and showed him the door.
Jane says: “Unfortunately, it’s a fact of life that we should never issue an ultimatum unless we’re absolutely serious and determined to follow it through. Otherwise, we end up discredited and sorely weakened – or fully out on a limb.” She advises him to put his ex behind him, learn from mistakes, and move on. She suggests concentrating on health and mental well-being, speaking to a GP if stressed or depressed, and letting her have her fresh start in Spain while he regroups.
Club Snubs
Another reader and her boyfriend belong to a local club, use the gym, run and swim, but no one is interested in getting to know them. They've invited members to barbecues and parties, but no one turned up. She wonders why they are snubbed. Jane says many people become set in their ways with age, and club members may have families and commitments. She advises not taking it personally and enjoying their sports and lives.
Toxic Parents
A third reader is jealous of people with good relationships with their parents, describing hers as vile. Her father is weak, and her mother attempts to control her, telling her she's useless. She drinks too much and sleeps with bad men. She hasn't spoken to them since May after a row about respect. Jane suggests visiting a GP for professional support in the form of therapy to make sense of her life and learn coping strategies. She notes it's possible her parents have mental health problems, and she is entitled to a better future.
