Sabine Nkusi, who fled Kigali during the 1994 genocide against the Tutsi, has returned to Rwanda to lead efforts against gender-based violence. Now a lead on gender and sexual violence for the UK-based Christian charity Tearfund, she organizes retreats for survivors to share their stories and advocate for change.
A Vow Made in Crisis
At age 14, Nkusi witnessed the horrors of the genocide, seeing women dead by the roadside, many victims of sexual abuse. She made a vow to God: if she survived, she would dedicate her life to restoring dignity to women who suffered such brutality. More than 30 years later, she is fulfilling that promise.
Healing Through Sharing
Nkusi's team has led 12 retreats, mainly in Africa but also in Asia, where survivors like Francine—who contracted HIV from an abusive partner after turning to sex work to feed her siblings—find support. "You can feel very isolated because you are stigmatised," Francine said. "But I've come to see that I am valued." Breaking the silence is key to healing, as women are often blamed for their abuse.
Challenging Global Statistics
Despite grim data—one in three women globally experience gender-based violence, and rates reach 50% in war-torn countries like the DRC—Nkusi believes ending it is possible. In Rwanda, 41% of women face such violence at home. Tearfund's Christian approach reaches conservative communities where the Bible is used to justify female subservience.
Transforming Masculinities Programme
Nkusi's team runs courses called Transforming Masculinities, which challenge views on women using the Bible and engaging couples. Research by Stellenbosch University found that in DRC communities where the programme ran for two years, intimate partner violence dropped by over half.
Participants like Pastor Edouard Buregeya from Kigali initially resisted. He confessed he used to believe his wife Chantal must submit to his sexual demands. After the course, he apologized, calling it a "miracle." The couple now counsels others and shares their experience with their church and three sons.
A Mother's Responsibility
Back in London, Nkusi feels a duty to teach her own sons about masculinity and respect for women. She discusses how traits like not crying or being a "provider" are outdated, emphasizing that "the currency … is emotional intelligence."
Nkusi's work continues to grow, offering hope for a future free from gender-based violence.
