SABSing, the offline dating trend that originated at the University of Pennsylvania, is now spreading to London. Short for 'See And Be Seen', the term was first coined by the US college's student magazine in 2024, with editor-in-chief Natalia Castillo describing SABSing as 'an art'.
The concept involves deliberately positioning yourself in a public place to increase the chances of a spontaneous encounter with a crush or ex. It's about being seen and offering yourself up to the possibility of unplanned interaction, a contrast to the world of dating apps and direct messages.
How to SABS successfully
SABSing is similar to people watching, but with a purpose. Instead of being a passive observer, you're open to a surprise run-in or chance encounter. It's about manufacturing spontaneity.
To SABS, you choose a location and dress to be noticed, without letting anyone in on your secret. For men, this might involve throwing a rugby ball in Victoria Park or reading a Sylvia Plath novel at a pub. For women, spending time at Brockwell Lido or sipping orange wine at Netil360 are suggested options.
Where to SABS in London
Londoners have their own preferred SABSing spots. Bethan Sandall, 25, recommends Jumbi and Prince of Peckham bars, saying 'they're both really fun bars and the music always attracts the sexiest people.' Ellie Parker, 28, suggests The Sun, Common Pizza, and The Prince of Wales in Clapham.
Georgie Pike, 30, names Gordon's Wine Bar as a prime location for locking eyes with an ex-situationship, noting it's 'conveniently central and a favourite haunt for finance bros and marketing execs.' Emma Jackson, 27, opts for the big M&S on Brixton high street for a performative weekly food shop.
For queer women, Cara Averill, 29, says she used to run into people she'd dated in London Fields park and along Broadway Market. In East London, Café 1001 near Brick Lane is cited as prime SABSing real estate.
Why we love SABSing
Counselling psychologist Madeleine Roantree attributes the trend's appeal to our obsession with visibility. She explains: 'We're wired to belong, and social interactions historically happened because people occupied the same public spaces.'
She adds that visibility has a social function, demonstrated by the 'mere exposure effect', where simply being exposed to someone increases their likability. It breeds familiarity, which is a precursor to forming a bond.
So while we might think we're simply lingering, we're actually trying to create 'spontaneous' moments and manufacture closeness. The trend isn't meant to discourage SABSing—it's about understanding the desire behind it. Just make sure you're enjoying yourself too.
