Fear of Infidelity with an Ex
A reader is terrified that her boyfriend is sleeping with his ex, who recently returned from Australia. The couple split in 2023, and the ex moved overseas for work. Now back, the reader fears she has seduced him. He swears nothing is happening, but he keeps disappearing. He stood her up for a party at her mother's house, not answering his phone. He later claimed he had to go to Edinburgh for a meeting, but she didn't believe him. He stormed off again.
He has also lost interest in sex, turning her down multiple times, claiming to be 'too tired'. This is a stark contrast to his past behavior, like wanting sex in a hospital toilet after an appendix operation. The reader feels frumpy compared to his glamorous ex and wants him to stop being unkind without leaving her.
Jane's Advice on Trust and Self-Worth
Jane O'Gorman advises that the boyfriend's behavior is concerning. She suggests reminding him of his loyalties and asking how he would feel if the roles were reversed. The couple split in 2023 due to her job offer; Jane questions if they have unfinished business. She urges the reader to consider her sexual and emotional health. If he refuses to come clean, she must decide how much more to take. Jane emphasizes knowing self-worth and not allowing anyone to walk over her.
Neighbor's Unwanted Obsession
Another reader is overwhelmed by a neighbor who became obsessed after a one-night stand three months ago. She constantly checks on him and hangs around his garden, hoping for another 'mad night'. He is not interested.
Jane advises a face-to-face conversation to explain it was a one-off and apologize for any misunderstanding. She suggests being friendly but clear that he likes his own space. If she reacts badly, he may need to involve the police.
Jobless Girlfriend and Resentment
A reader is frustrated with his girlfriend, who has not worked or paid bills since they moved in together. She spends her days chatting, claiming no jobs are available. He works hard to support them, with no children or pets.
Jane suggests she may have lost professional confidence and recommends retraining. If she is unwilling to work, he must ask about her ambitions. If she has none, the relationship may not last, as resentment will build.
Insecurity Over a Popular Partner
A man feels insecure because other men fancy his girlfriend, who is moving in with him. He is paranoid and jealous, though she has given no reason to doubt her.
Jane warns that his insecurities could kill the relationship. She advises him to embrace and appreciate her, and to be a great boyfriend so she won't want anyone else. If he doesn't get himself in check, he will be the loser.
