The Disney+ adaptation of Jilly Cooper's Rivals has returned for season two, and with it the show's explicit sex scenes. One scene in particular has drawn attention to a practice known as 'pairing' — combining clitoral stimulation with penetration.
What happens in the scene
In the second part of season two, the affair between electronics magnate Freddie Jones (Danny Dyer) and romance novelist Lizzie Vereker (Katherine Parkinson) continues behind their spouses' backs. During one encounter, with Lizzie on top, Freddie's hand moves down her chest and lingers on her clitoris.
Later, Freddie is in bed with his wife Valerie Jones (Lisa McGrillis) when she initiates sex. While Valerie is on top, he repeats the same move, stimulating her clitoris during penetration.
The numbers behind 'pairing'
Pairing refers to adding clitoral stimulation to penetrative sex — something 73% of women say they need in order to orgasm. According to sex research site OMGYES, women report that the resulting orgasms are also 'more frequent and more pleasurable'.
In a survey of 2,000 women, 97% said partners who give attention to the clitoris by stimulating it during penetration make better lovers.
Why some men still hold back
Sexologist Ness Cooper told Metro: 'Around two thirds of men can find the clitoris.' She added: 'But location isn't always enough. This doesn't mean men will know how to stimulate the clitoris.'
Cooper noted that how each woman wants her clitoris stimulated, if at all, varies. 'For men, some of this will be down to learning what your new or current sexual partner enjoys rather than just identifying sweet spots,' she said. She also suggested that younger men may prioritise a partner's sexual pleasure less than older men do, which she said made the depiction of Freddie unsurprising.
She cautioned against treating climax as the only goal: 'We can become very orgasm focused when it comes to pleasure, when in fact some people may experience sexual pleasure differently, for example, giving their partner pleasure.'
Why the combination feels intense
According to Cooper, clitoral stimulation releases certain hormones and stimulates nerve endings, which combined with penetration can feel very intense. 'Penetration can also pull the tissue around the clitoris making the nerve endings even more sensitive,' she said.
Women described the sensation on OMGYES. One woman, Kate, said: 'Penetration, it's a wonderful thing. But then, clitoral and internal stimulation at the same time can add a whole other level of intensity and pleasure.' She added: 'It's like chocolate and peanut butter. Both are good, but put them together and you have a whole new world. It's a total game-changer.'
How to try it
Cooper said the approach is about experimentation, and certain positions make the clitoris easier to reach during penetrative sex. These include the woman on top, as shown in Rivals, with a hand used to stimulate the clitoris. Alternatively, the penetrating partner can stand while she lies flat on the edge of the bed with her legs up, off the side or around him. Missionary position, with her on her back and him leaning up enough to leave room for a hand, or both partners spooning with her legs open, also allow easy access.
Many women surveyed said touching the clitoris should begin with gentle, warm-up stimulation — something partners can forget in the heat of penetration. 'Try round circular motions, or side-to-side finger swaying over the clitoris,' Cooper suggested. 'Add in different speeds and pressures too, and ask for feedback if you need it.'
She also advised using lubrication: 'And definitely add lubrication. The clitoris has a clitoral hood, and this can cover the clitoris, so lubrication can help move the hood and expose the clitoris to stimulation.' She said this also reduces the risk of friction-related injuries.
Finally, she warned that the clitoris can stop responding if the same type of stimulation continues for too long. 'Don't be afraid to take a break and focus on elsewhere, before continuing shortly afterwards to allow the nerve endings to reset,' she said.
