As Britain celebrates National Grandparents Day, a hidden crisis is unfolding: an estimated one million children are denied access to their grandparents. Many are cut off after family arguments or divorce, with paternal grandparents often the hardest hit. The result, campaigners say, is a 'living bereavement' that leaves lasting emotional scars.
Penny Young, 65, from Worcester, has not seen her grandson, now nine, for six years. The last time she spoke to him, he was three and asked, 'Why you don’t come to my house any more?' after a chance encounter in a city centre. Her daughter had banned contact following an argument. Despite a brief period when her husband Roger was allowed visits, all contact ceased when the child mentioned a phone call with Penny.
Penny launched a legal case in 2017 but withdrew after her daughter made allegations of ill-treatment. Facing ruinous legal costs, she founded the Worcestershire Grandparents Support Group to campaign for change. 'The system is not just letting the grandparents down, it is letting the grandchildren down,' she said.
Dr Carol Golly, a child and family psychotherapist, warns that children who lose close grandparent relationships may face lifelong trust and emotional issues. Dame Esther Rantzen, founder of Childline, called it a 'living bereavement' and said she had heard from grandchildren unable to say goodbye to dying grandparents.
Family lawyer Vanessa Lloyd-Platt, whose firm handles up to 60 estrangement cases a year, believes the true number of affected children could be two million. She cites divorce, family breakdown, and mental health problems as common causes, but notes that many grandparents cannot afford the legal costs, which can reach £30,000 or more.
