Amol Rajan: Grief, Panic Attacks and Emotional Today Exit
Amol Rajan: Grief, Panic Attacks and Emotional Today Exit

Broadcaster Amol Rajan is among the famous faces taking part in the new series of Celebrity Traitors on BBC. The show sees 21 celebrities compete for a share of up to £100,000 for their chosen charity, with some secretly playing the role of Traitors while the rest, known as the Faithfuls, try to identify and vote them out before they are eliminated themselves.

Rajan is best known as the host of University Challenge. His fellow contestants this year include Maya Jama, James Blunt, Michael Sheen, Richard E Grant and Ross Kemp. As he prepares to enter the Scottish castle, here is a look at his life beyond the screen.

Tragic Grief

In 2022, Rajan's father, P. Varadarajan, died unexpectedly at the age of 76 from pneumonia. Rajan has spoken about receiving a call from a withheld number, which he recognised as an ominous sign while a relative was hospitalised. A nurse told him he needed to arrive 'immediately' because his father had stopped responding.

Speaking to RadioTimes, Rajan admitted the bereavement struck him 'extremely hard' and that he felt 'ashamed' after deliberately avoiding thoughts of his dad. He said: "Grief is both universal – we all experience it – and particular, in that every grief is different according to the bond that's broken. Yet there comes a moment when you think, "Maybe I should confront this; I'm not a kid any more."

The turning point came when a BBC executive producer asked if he would present a documentary about the Kumbh Mela, the world's largest religious gathering. After a discussion with his mum and wife in front of his four children, he agreed. He added: "That seemed like just the sort of thing a son should do for his dear, departed dad. And the film could be a deep dive, not just into my past and grief, but an ancient civilisation and global faith still little understood in the West."

'Utter Terror'

Five years ago, Rajan began his first shift as part of Radio 4's Today programme presenting team. He has disclosed that he suffered a panic attack the evening beforehand. Posting on X with a studio photograph, he wrote: "10pm last night I had a full-on panic attack. Worked myself up into a frenzy, catastrophising about first shift on @BBCr4today. Had 3 massive rums and a bit else. Got 1hr kip, in at 3.45 (below). Survived. Thank you so much for all the niceness and constructive criticism..."

He later thanked the team for 'looking after me' and acknowledged Justin Webb and his wife, who 'sorted him out'. Rajan has previously discussed his struggles with panic attacks on Morning Live, describing the feeling as "total utter terror" and "not low-level anxiety". He described it as feeling like 'doom spilling through your head' and a complete loss of control, similar to sensations he experienced when stuck in a lift.

Emotional Departure

This year, Rajan confirmed his departure from BBC Radio 4's Today programme while revealing plans to establish his own business venture. He will continue fronting University Challenge and the Radical with Amol Rajan podcast for the BBC. In a statement, he said it was time to 'get my coat', acknowledging that quitting Today 'might be mad' but expressing enthusiasm about future prospects.

He remarked: "I'm extremely excited to jump into the Great Digital Narnia of the Creator Economy and build my own company. I'll still do Britain's oldest TV quiz and most exciting podcast." He added: "But Del Boy was my hero growing up, and it's time to unleash my inner entrepreneur. I am very much not leaving the BBC, Britain's noblest cultural institution, whose Reithian spirit is such a generous gift to a world in flux. It's that world I'm heading for, and I'm excited."

His farewell broadcast on Today aired on September 2, during which he said: "After more than 1,000 hours, hundreds of pips, a few crashes, it is time to say goodbye. It has been such an honour sitting in this studio with you, Emma, with all the presenters, but above all, with the amazing team behind the glass." Celebrity Traitors series two begins on Thursday, October 1 with an extra-long opening episode at 8pm on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.