Husband of Author Lindy West Launches Scathing Attack on Reporter Over Polyamory Memoir Coverage
The husband of celebrated author and activist Lindy West has unleashed a blistering verbal assault against a journalist who profiled his wife's recently published memoir. Ahamefule J. Oluo, 43, branded Slate writer Scaachi Koul as 'a bitter, untalented, mean-girl' in an explosive email exchange following the publication of her article about West's new book Adult Braces.
Explosive Revelations and Accusations of Misrepresentation
West's memoir, released earlier this month, contains startling revelations about the couple's polyamorous relationship, detailing how she reluctantly agreed to enter a throuple with Oluo and his partner Roya Amirsoleymani. The 44-year-old author, comedian, and women's rights activist describes in intimate detail the complex emotional journey that led to their current living arrangement in Washington state.
Following the book's publication, Koul wrote a lengthy profile and interview with West for Slate. However, Oluo has vehemently objected to the portrayal, accusing Koul of 'intentionally skewing the story to fit her own bitter narrative' and 'intentionally diminishing his personhood and career.'
The Furious Email Exchange
Koul published the full text of Oluo's angry email response, in which he wrote: 'This was such a s**ty thing to do, Scaachi. You intentionally skewed this story to fit your own bitter narrative, you wasted my time and all of our time to write an article that was gonna be the same no matter what we said.'
Oluo took particular exception to Koul's description of him and Amirsoleymani being 'away, working in Boston on a shared project' during the interview period. He clarified: 'Roya and I were on a "shared project" in Boston? Or however you worded it? I was performing four shows at the Paramount, and Roya is my producer.'
The musician and performer expressed outrage at what he perceived as a reductionist portrayal: 'I am a person with a life and a great career and a complicated life and you boiled me down to a "cheater" who was on a school project making a diorama or some s**t because you are mad about your life. You barely wrote about the book, you just wrote a rage bait article specifically designed to direct hate toward me.'
West's Response and Background Context
West herself reached out to Koul to express her dissatisfaction with the article, writing: 'I feel hurt by this piece. It feels subtly designed to generate exactly the kind of backlash against Ahamefule and, by extension, me. It's hard to weather backlash that's about someone else, especially when I tried so hard in my book to convey who we are and the complexities of what really happened. Perhaps I failed.'
The controversy emerges against the backdrop of West's rising literary career, which began with her 2016 essay collection Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman that detailed her marriage to Oluo without mentioning his desire for an open marriage. That book inspired a Hulu series that aired from 2019 to 2021.
Memoir Details Complex Polyamory Journey
In Adult Braces, West describes her initial resistance to opening her marriage, despite what she perceived as growing pressure within progressive circles. She writes: 'I'm not politically conservative, but I am reserved. I like tradition, rituals, patterns, feeling like a stitch in a great weave of grandparents and great-grandparents, pairs loving each other in the same format again and again.'
The author reveals that Oluo suggested monogamy was rooted in colonial systems of ownership, telling her: 'He believed that monogamy was, at its root, a system of ownership. I had to admit that perhaps I didn't feel it as keenly, as a white person.'
West details how the couple initially agreed that Oluo would only date strangers, but this agreement was broken when he began seeing someone known to them both. She describes this period as containing 'the worst months of her life.'
The Throuple Formation and Current Arrangement
In 2019, Oluo secretly began seeing Roya Amirsoleymani, with whom he remains involved today alongside his wife. Despite initial distress, West has come to accept the arrangement, and all three now live together in Washington state.
The trio publicly announced their throuple status in 2022 through a YouTube video, drawing significant public attention and scrutiny. West addresses this scrutiny in her memoir, writing: 'Some people say that I'm delusional, that I couldn't possibly be happy with two partners. They lose their minds when confronted with the idea of nonmonogamy, and I am sympathetic. I used to share their lost mind.'
Journalistic Ethics and Personal Boundaries
The Slate profile that sparked the controversy recapped events from West's memoir and discussed the public scrutiny the throuple faced following their 2022 announcement. Koul wrote that in West's book, Oluo 'appears dishonest, and the boundaries are muddied' as she described his 'ostensible cheating.'
During her interview with Slate, West acknowledged that many of her fans harbor negative feelings toward her husband, stating: 'It was a hard tightrope because every time I wrote something nice about Aham, I felt like I was falling into that apologia trap, where I'm trying to justify something. Maybe I'm not a good enough writer, but I don't know how to explain how and why I love a person.'
The Daily Mail contacted a representative for the family, who declined to comment on the ongoing controversy. The dispute highlights the complex intersection of personal relationships, public disclosure, and journalistic representation in the age of memoir-driven celebrity culture.
