A Daily Star reader is frustrated that his partner has lost her adventurous spirit in the bedroom. In the early days, she was daring and naughty, once sneaking into a local open-air swimming pool at night for a naked dip. They groped and fumbled until a night watchman roared at them, and she even invited him to join them in a threesome.
Now, she prefers to go to bed early and play with her phone. Any suggestion of intimacy is met with 'too tired.' When they do make love, it's over in minutes. The routine is so predictable he could do it in his sleep, and he can tell she fakes her orgasms because she can't wait to get in the shower.
A Change in Attitude
She claims she's 'done with all that' now that they're an established couple, but he's still young and feels like he's just getting started. He asks how to make her understand she's pushing him away.
Jane O'Gorman advises that relationships are works in progress. She says the girlfriend needs to hear how unhappy and frustrated he is, and that he's not satisfied with the way things are going, both in bed and out of it.
Breaking the Comfort Zone
Jane suggests talking away from the bedroom and explaining that this is not the life he wants. He should propose starting afresh, going back to basics, and giving the relationship a shot in the arm with unbreakable dates, early nights, and surprises.
She also asks how the girlfriend is feeling in herself—could she be struggling with confidence, body image, or libido issues? Perhaps she needs to consult her GP or has something to tell him. The key is making a real effort for each other, so she realizes that something significant has to change for a future together.
Nanny State Dilemma
Another reader's dad doesn't like her working, preferring she stay home to mind his children for free. His wife, the stepmother, resents paying proper wages to a nanny. The reader admits her supermarket job doesn't pay much, but she values her freedom.
Jane says she needs to tell her dad that his idea stinks. It's not her job to look after anyone's children, and she shouldn't allow him to intimidate or control her life. She should refuse to give in to emotional blackmail, as her job is valid and important. If she feels pressured, she should talk to sympathetic family members or friends for support.
