Three stubborn old nuns and a wide-eyed young whippersnapper head off on a mission to save the convent in this earnestly made but emotionally lukewarm road movie. The ace up Holy Days' sleeve is the casting, with each nun played by a legend of stage and screen: Judy Davis as Sister Agnes, Miriam Margolyes as Sister Luke and Jacki Weaver as Sister Mary Clare. It quickly becomes clear, however, that nobody is on their A-game. The film itself is a frustrating mix of comedy and drama: not funny enough to solicit any real laughs, nor sufficiently dramatic to forge strong connections with the characters.
A drab and soulless convent
These folk are a rather unexciting lot, despite a clear desire to present young Brian (Elijah Tamati) as the emotional glue holding things together and the habit-wearing trio as hot-blooded eccentrics. Their run-down convent, which we're supposed to feel invested in, is a drab location both aesthetically and emotionally; it's decaying – but not in a handsome, cinematic way. Nor is it brought to life by the people who inhabit it; in fact, the building feels borderline soulless. Maybe the developers have a point, I caught myself thinking, and this crusty old place could become a snazzy new apartment block or shopping centre.
A quest that loses its purpose
“Goodbye, convent!” isn't exactly the response intended by the writer-director, Nat Boltt (adapting Dame Joy Cowley's novel of the same name), who really needed viewers to feel invested in the characters and their circumstances. Instead, the experience feels syrupy and sentimental; less playing the heartstrings than giving them a forceful yanking.
When the three sisters get wind that the convent's land is at risk, they head off to find a property deed in the hope that they can save the day. In tow is Brian (because: fun intergenerational dynamics!) who is struggling to adapt to his father (Craig Hall) having a new romantic partner after his mother's death. Curiously for a road movie, there aren't many interesting locations, though the settings are picturesque – New Zealand's magnificent landscapes providing some pretty scaffolding. The storyline is oddly threadbare and includes an unintentionally amusing revelation about halfway through that drains the central quest of its narrative purpose.
Low-hanging fruit comedy
Comedically, Boltt opts for low-hanging fruit, ie nuns behaving in mildly risque ways. In one scene, Sister Agnes lights up a cigarette (gasp!) and Sister Luke's dentures fly out of her mouth after she takes a toke; in another, one of the nuns farts when they're all tucked in bed together. There are also kids-say-the-darndest-things type moments, such as one in which Brian, aghast that Agnes has confessed to stealing a car, exclaims: “You did a sin! You should be prostituted!” The punchlines feel as subtle as a giant sign flashing: “LAUGH.”
A cheesy climax
From early on, one can sense it's a question of when rather than if Holy Days will dissolve into cheese and wishy-washiness. Even then it exceeds expectations, culminating in one of those cringe-inducing scenes in which the principal cast converge for a good old-fashioned dance-off, big smiles on their faces as they get jiggy with it. There are some flecks of interest en route to this non-ending, coming almost entirely from that wonderful trio of screen legends, though they are few and far between. Holy Days is out in Australian cinemas now, UK cinemas from 14 August and on digital platforms in the US now.
