A woman adopted as a newborn in South Africa has described how she only discovered she was Black at the age of 16, after a dance teacher casually referred to her as such. Nicole Botha, now 29, grew up in the Kent countryside and had always believed she was white, based on her adoption paperwork which listed both parents as white Afrikaans.
The moment of revelation
Performing in an Afrobeats dance at school, Botha wondered why she had been chosen. When she asked her teacher about the casting process, the teacher replied: "We wanted to feature all the Black dancers in the yeargroup." Botha was stunned. "This was the first time in my life anyone had ever referred to me as Black; and, in that moment, I realised that all the suspicions I’d had about my heritage had just been proven correct," she said.
Growing up with unanswered questions
Botha was born in South Africa and adopted as a newborn in 1997. Her birth mother had another child 18 months before and went to the adoption agency weeks before Botha's due date. The paperwork stated both parents were white Afrikaans, but later proved incorrect. Growing up in a white area, Botha struggled with her hair and makeup, not understanding why she looked different from her peers. "When I was about 15, I found myself getting increasingly curious. I started to think, ‘Hang on – my hair is very coily and curly; I look different to the people I’m at school with,’" she recalled.
DNA test confirms heritage
At 16, after the dance teacher's comment, Botha's then-boyfriend urged her to take a DNA test. "‘Just do it,’ he urged me. ‘So you can have your answers,’" she said. The results showed her father is Black, of Bantu Peoples heritage. "‘You’re not insane,’ I thought to myself, flooded with relief. ‘You had it right,’" she said.
Her adoptive parents accepted the results. Botha felt frustration at having to "start over" with her identity but no anger. She began educating herself on Black culture and now, at 29, has a three-year-old daughter who is Black. She finds helping her daughter with her hair healing, as it avoids the trauma she experienced. She still does not know why her birth father was incorrectly identified, and debates whether to contact her birth mother for answers. "I know who I am now, and I have all the family I could ever need; and for that, I feel immensely grateful," she said.
