Tamzin Outhwaite has spoken candidly about co-parenting with her ex-husband, Lucifer star Tom Ellis, revealing that he is now “in and out” of their children’s lives. The EastEnders actress, 54, shared her experiences on the Parenting Hell podcast, discussing the challenges of the split and her pride in how far her family has come.
Outhwaite and Ellis married in 2006 after being introduced by actor James McAvoy, but their nine-year marriage ended in 2014. They have two children together: Flo, 17, and Marnie, 12. When host Josh Widdicombe noted the split happened “about 10 years ago,” Outhwaite confirmed, “Yeah, it was literally when the kids were tiny. Marnie was not even one.”
On Ellis’s current role in their lives, she explained, “He lives in LA. So he’s pretty in and out of their lives, but they have a lot of support and people that have been around.” Since the divorce, Ellis has remarried screenwriter Meaghan Oppenheimer in 2019, while Outhwaite was in a long-term relationship with filmmaker Tom Child, which recently ended. She still calls Child her “best mate” and says he is often around.
Outhwaite also opened up about her eldest child, Flo, coming out as transgender around age 10 or 11. “I did have two daughters and now I have a son and a daughter,” she said. “That’s quite easy for me to say now, but it wasn’t maybe six or seven years ago.” She admitted the early days were difficult, with “some dark times” and a distressing period. Initially, she thought, “Don’t be ridiculous,” but she did not voice that. The family sought therapy and outside help, and Outhwaite said, “If you push back on a kid, they’ll want to do the opposite. I didn’t say, ‘You can’t be that,’ but it was tough.”
Now, she is incredibly happy with her children, describing her son as “an incredibly funny, intelligent boy… an incredible actor, desperate to be a comedy writer.” She added, “To see him thriving is just nothing but relief and joy for me.” Reflecting on public conversations around trans rights, Outhwaite noted, “It really is less than one per cent of the population… but I’m just so happy for him.” She said the whole LGBT community “get a bit of a hard rap at the moment” and emphasised that “every situation is different, every child is different… You’re not alone.”
