Machine Gun Kelly has revealed that a picture of his daughter gave him the strength to seek help when his heart nearly stopped after a cocaine binge. The 36-year-old musician, whose real name is Colson Baker, said he felt his heart was 'about to stop' after consuming too much cocaine, leaving him in a state of panic.
Life-Saving Image
Speaking candidly on The Set List with Carter Gregory, in what has been billed as his 'most honest conversation,' MGK recalled the terrifying incident. He said he wanted the last thing he saw to be his daughter, Casie, and that thought spurred him to summon strength and open his phone to look at her face.
He said: "One time, my heart was about to stop, too much cocaine, I could just feel it... I felt my heart was palpitating crazily. I felt... I felt everything. My consciousness started to go away, stuff like that, and... I started to think about the last image I wanted to see is my kid. So I was like, scrambling to take whatever strength I could summon from my mind to like, to open my phone and look at her face. And when I did that, I was like, 'Oh, I can't go. Yeah, I can't... I can't go.'"
Struggles and Sobriety
The musician has been open about his battles with cocaine, heroin, alcohol, and an addiction to Adderall, a medication used to treat ADHD, before going sober. He admitted there are days he 'doesn't want to be here anymore,' but his two children 'speak to him,' and what he says is a 'blessing.'
MGK explained that the day in question was especially weird as his star chart lined up to read: "You could die on this day." He added: "I've tricked the Reaper so many times, that's why I said that in Fix Ur Face, I said 'I'm done trying, I tried dying enough times, eight lives, I used all those, I'm on nine.'"
Looking Ahead
Looking towards the future, the actor, who shares daughter Casie with his ex-partner Emma Cannon and Saga Blade Fox-Baker with actress Megan Fox, says he's not sure how strong he'll be a year from now or ten years from now. He added: "With what I want to do while I'm here, I haven't done near enough. I feel like I'm only on chapter three, and I don't know any good book that ends on the third chapter."
Previously, MGK revealed that aged around 11 or 12, his daughter Casie questioned him, asking how she would know when he was high. "It was the ultimate letdown," he said on an episode of the Million Dollaz Worth of Game podcast. He added: "It took me a while afterwards, because obviously drugs have a vice grip on you. That was step one for me. As a father and as a man, to be the father I wish my dad would have been, I have to break this generational curse for my kid."
Recovery and Support
After completing the UK leg of his Mainstream Sell Out Tour, he entered rehab having battled with alcohol, pills, and cannabis. Nowadays, he's "completely sober from everything." He credited his former fiancée, Megan, for being "extremely helpful" in dealing with the "psychological withdrawals" associated with sobriety.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, help is available. Samaritans can be contacted day or night, 365 days a year, on 116 123 or via samaritans.org. Frank offers confidential advice about drugs and addiction (email frank@talktofrank.com, message 82111 or call 0300 123 6600), and the NHS has information about getting help.
