A woman in her 40s has written to agony aunt Coleen Nolan describing a marriage devoid of love and intimacy, where she and her husband have not slept together for years. She says he shows contempt for her, and they only stay together for their teenage children.
The reader admits the thought of starting over fills her with dread, but she also fears that if she stays, she will have to rebuild her life in her 50s or 60s, which seems even more daunting. She cares for her husband as a father but feels no love remains between them.
Coleen Nolan, who has experienced two divorces herself, advises the woman to initiate a conversation with her husband and plan how to move forward. She emphasises that neither partner is truly living, merely existing, and both deserve happiness.
Nolan acknowledges that separation and divorce are difficult, especially with children, but insists that the only way to find happiness is to leave what makes you unhappy. She recommends focusing on the children's wellbeing and considering relationship counselling to support the separation process.
