Four minutes into the story, our hero stands at the famous black door and promises his troops he will be a “circuit breaker.” The line plays well in trailers and on social media, but as the film drags on, it sets a damp tone for the rest of the production.
A Homecoming Epic
Andy Burnham, or Andysseus, has spent nine years away in Manchester, far from Westminster where he wants to hold the levers of power. He returns to find the hall overrun with suitors, hungry for spoils. After the triumphant return, Act II delivers a massacre.
Rachel Reeves is dispatched. A confusing scene suggests she was first offered the Ministry of Defence, which seems implausible. David Lammy and Darren Jones follow in a montage of destruction.
Bold Decisions and Silence
After the slaughter, Andysseus makes avant-garde choices. Ed Miliband, who lost to a bacon sandwich, becomes Foreign Secretary. John Healey, who quit over a £5 billion hole, gets the Treasury and the hole. Wes Streeting takes the job Reeves refused.
The third act is bolder: nothing happens. Parliament rises, the cast scatters, and our hero enjoys 50 days in which nobody sees him. The only set piece is a series of watery pledges: a tax cut lifting VAT from electricity bills, worth 12p a day, funded by cancelling a scheme that was never funded—a continuity error.
Twists and Ending
Special mention to the sound department for catching an accidental plot twist: the new Defence Secretary tells the Justice Secretary “he wants to let them all out,” and the Home Secretary laughs. By the close, Andysseus returns to Manchester with a smile, selling hope. He announces a £2 bus fare cap, rehashing a Tory plot line, and a rate cut for pubs, failing to explain where the money comes from.
Ultimately, the movie is disjointed, lacking direction. Odysseus took ten years to get home and found a shambles. Our Andysseus has cast himself as the man still at sea, assuring the crew the map is fine. Two stars.
