Voyeuristic Partner Wants to Watch
A reader writes to Jane O'Gorman about her partner who secretly watches others having sex and now wants to watch her with other men. He has drilled a hole in the bedroom wall for this purpose. She feels conflicted: while it offers a chance to cheat freely, she fears being filmed or shamed. He promises transparency and will even pay expenses. She worries that refusing will end the relationship.
Jane advises that the partner seems uninterested in sex with the reader, which is concerning. She stresses the importance of trust and emotional well-being, warning that the arrangement could lead to feeling used. She recommends discussing safety and health, and notes that being single is not necessarily sad if it means staying true to oneself.
Workplace Rivalry Over Attention
Another reader, a new employee, is frustrated that a less attractive colleague attracts many men while she is ignored. She describes herself as gorgeous but feels overlooked. The colleague boasts about dating rich clients and bosses.
Jane advises focusing on the job and not competing with the colleague. She reminds the reader that her bosses valued her enough to hire her and that romantic pursuits should be kept outside work. Inner qualities matter as much as outer beauty.
Priorities: Money, Home, Then Partner
A reader's girlfriend openly ranks money, her flat, and then him as priorities. She defends this, saying her home and salary are her lifelines. The reader feels hurt that things come before their relationship.
Jane acknowledges that if the girlfriend had a tough start, her protectiveness is understandable. However, she warns against taking the reader for granted and suggests discussing a better work-life balance. Mutual respect is key.
Dealing with a Dull, Self-Obsessed Partner
A reader dislikes their son's new partner, who is self-obsessed and constantly seeks attention. The reader wants to avoid conflict with their son.
Jane advises being less available without being rude. If she calls, the reader should steer the conversation or cut it short with an excuse. The partner should not become a burden due to her own issues.
