Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman has responded to two readers seeking advice on difficult personal situations, addressing a toxic relationship and a case of fraud.
Partner's abuse and double standards
One reader described a partner who constantly tells him he is ugly and worthless, yet still expects money and sex. He detailed their sexual activities, which involve tying her to a cast iron bed with fluffy handcuffs and using pungent oils, resulting in a messy encounter that he must clean up after.
He noted that she was witty and warm early in the relationship but has become bitter and hard over the years, destroying his confidence. He asked, "What is her problem?"
Jane's response on limits
Jane O'Gorman suggested that if inclined to give the partner the benefit of the doubt, she could be stressed and depressed and in need of seeing a GP. However, she added that if the partner has stopped respecting him, he is in danger of throwing his life away.
"You can't carry on like this, because this amount of tension and abuse is going to make you ill," she wrote. She advised explaining to the partner how much she hurts him and questioning why she hangs around if she despises him so much. "She must accept that everyone has their limit and you're in imminent danger of reaching yours," Jane said.
Fraudulent illness and stolen funds
Another reader shared that she had been with a man for only a few months before he claimed to be gravely ill and needing money for specialist treatment in South Africa. She organised sponsored runs and set up a website, donating £10,000 to his fighting fund.
Now back, he admitted there was nothing wrong with him and used the £10,000 on a "much needed" holiday. He claimed he was going through a mental crisis and wants forgiveness and a fresh start. The reader asked, "Can I ever trust him again?"
Jane urges police action
Jane O'Gorman responded firmly: "Order this wicked individual to leave you alone. What he did to you, and your supporters was cynical, calculated and cruel."
She advised the reader to go straight to the police to report the fraud and ask for action. "I very much doubt if you're the first kind, trusting person he's duped, but let's hope you're the last," she wrote. Jane encouraged the reader to learn from the experience but not allow the con merchant to leave her bitter or ruin her future.
